


Electric Love

by hyunwoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Broken!Sulay, Light Angst, M/M, Side!Chansoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-04 15:12:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5338718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunwoo/pseuds/hyunwoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Junmyeon called Jongdae asking if he wanted to help his friends' band because their former guitarist left out ot nowhere, Jongdae didn't know that he'd meet perfect Minseok and fall in love with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jongdae meets Indigo Kid and falls for Minseok

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! I've finally done my first Xiuchen fanfic and ugh, they're so perfect together x.x
> 
> Okay, this fanfic is chaptered but it's almost completely written, I just need to write the end and edit. 
> 
> The idea of a rockbandau came after I saw Chen performing Uprising a few weeks ago and man, he should be in a rock band but he slays! Oh and also because I read a ff on LiveJournal and EXO was a rock band (that's the only exo rockbandau I've ever read) so yeah, I stole the background idea but the plot is completely different.  
> There isn't too much to say, i just hope you guys like my first attempt of a Xiuchen and side!Chansoo (I'm tired of writing side!kaisoo and side!chanbaek so yeah and broken!sulay) fanfic.  
> Thank you for reading!

Jongdae first learned about the Kinsey scale when he was about fifteen. And if zero is completely heterosexual and six is completely homosexual, Kim Jongdae was a three. So very much a three.

 He likes girls. They're soft and pretty and, yeah, he's kind of a sucker for high heels and short skirts. He loves long straight hair and red lipstick, and dude,  _boobs_. Seriously, boobs are nothing short of amazingly, incredibly  _awesome_.

He doesn't think it's particularly chauvinistic of him to enjoy occasionally being the dominant, the alpha around a girl. He doesn't ever treat a girl like she's weak or anything - because he knows that women aren't - but sometimes it's kind of nice to be called in to kill a spider or lift something heavy for them.

He loves sex with girls and driving them crazy with his hands, his mouth and his dick. He likes to go down on women, which apparently some guys don't. He doesn't understand how anyone could  _not_  like it; the way it makes them arch underneath him and yank at his hair. The way their thighs shake and they're dripping wet, and the way they cry out his name when they come. It's just so fucking good.

Yeah. Jongdae really, really likes girls.        

But he also really, really likes boys.

Their bodies, their muscles, their strength. Jongdae loves it when guys take the lead and shove him into a wall to kiss him or blow him or better, to fuck him.

And, speaking of fucking,  _their cocks_. While more domineering women aren't really his type, Jongdae knows that when it comes to guys, he's a total bottom. He likes fucking boys, but being fucked is so much better. He can't think of anything better than a big, thick cock stretching him, filling him up. Except maybe the feeling of his cock buried deep in a girl's pussy. Or, better yet, both at once. Sadly, it hadn’t happened yet.

To be honest, it’s actually possible that Jongdae just really enjoys good sex. 

So basically, when Jongdae met Minseok, he knew he was fucked. If he fucked up his big chance with Indigo Kid, Junmyeon would skin him alive mercilessly. And it would be not because he was the Indigo Kid’s manager or because he the one whose was indicating Jongdae as a replacement for the former guitarist, Yixing – apparently the guy flipped the fuck out and came back to China - but because he knew Kim Jongdae could be a little irresponsible fucker when he wanted to. This band was the kind of the furthest thing a guy like him could get.

Everything would be fine. Golden.

 

****

 

It's such a cliché. Everything was fine. Until. One. Day.  The big day had come and when Jongdae got off the plane in Los Angeles, he spotted Junmyeon at the arrivals waiting for him. Junmyeon, while driving to the house the band was sharing for the season and for the creation of the new album, scolded him like he always did. Sometimes, Jongdae thought that Junmyeon was under the impression of being his mother or his babysitter, because he always said the same kind of things. “Don’t drink too much, don’t abuse drugs, don’t fuck around with all the fans,” he said. It just made Jongdae want to get so fucking wasted that he barely remembered his name while fucking every girl or boy he could get.

Indigo Kid was a successful indie band considering that all the indie bands that came from South Korea to the US didn’t get nowhere past the airport. Partly, it was because the style of their music was very similar to the occidental bands and because half of their songs were written and sung in English, which gave them more audience since people were still very reluctant to Korean. Jongdae wasn’t very keen on sneaking into bands he didn’t know the members mostly because he still had the utopia that a band should be formed with childhood friends who practiced in their garages. However, life woke his ass up to reality with a slap. Jongdae had a band along with his three best friends; Tao, Luhan and Yifan, but they sort of kicked him out. They had a reason – if not showing up to the biggest concert of their lives was a valid one – but Jongdae was sure that taking his name out of the band’s website even before they told him that he was out was a dick move.  _Those fuckers_. Anyways, Jongdae didn’t need them.

So when Junmyeon called him, after he was kicked out and was jobless, saying that Jongdae was the only available guitarist with an American visa he knew and asked him to move to LA by the end of the week to work with Indigo Kid, there was no way he could say no.

Junmyeon picked him up at the airport and drove them for a few minutes until they were in front of a very typical American house, with white fences and wrap-around porches. The moment Jongdae stepped into the living room, which was filled with instruments, scattered cables on the floor and a half-empty bottle of vodka, he was sure that accepting Junmyeon’s invitation was the best choice of his life. 

There were two guys sprawled on the couch, one of them playing a very soft tune on the guitar as the other hummed to its rhythm. The third guy was sitting on the floor, tapping his finger to the melody, writing down the notes of whatever they were playing on a notebook.

“Hey guys, so this is Jongdae,” Junmyeon said, pointing to Jongdae and the three of them looked up at the stranger. “I know that you don’t know each other and that kind of sucks, but desperate solutions comes with unexpected situations. I hope he’s okay for the time.”

“He’ll do. It’s just temporary anyways. We just need someone to record the guitar parts and the backing vocals,” Chanyeol said, looking at Jongdae and smiling. “But if he’s very good, he could become a real member after all. We still have no one in mind for the spot.”

“You guys know that I don’t want to replace Yixing in anyway.” Junmyeon said after a long minute of awkward silence.

“Yeah, we know that.” Kyungsoo reassured.

“Besides, we know that Yixing is kind of irreplaceable to you.” Chanyeol muttered under his breath and Junmyeon’s scandalized look was hilarious.

“What are you even suggesting?” Junmyeon asked outraged but Jongdae could care less to what the guys were talking because when he dared to look at the guy that was sitting on the ground, he couldn’t take his eyes off him.

After a brief, stunned moment, Jongdae managed to look forward again, helped along, no doubt, by the obnoxious and ridiculous argue between Junmyeon and Chanyeol while Kyungsoo tried to chill out the situation. But Minseok was staring at him, smiling softly and clueless. As he paid more attention, he heard Junmyeon's, "Shut up," and Chanyeol's answering, "No, you shut up." 

“How about you show us what you came here to?” Minseok suggested with a grin and Jongdae almost fainted. 

 

****

 

Jongdae was in trouble. Big trouble.

He was living with Indigo Kid for about three months. They rehearsed all of the old songs so Jongdae knew how to play them at some possible concert they would do and they started working on the new album. The concept was very pretentious, writing a whole story about a couple through the songs and Chanyeol had suggested it, so he was mostly in charge with the lyrics department. Jongdae wasn’t part of the band, but it was very cool to come up with a chorus he had written and actually have people interested on what he had written. In his old band he didn’t have much of participation besides singing what Yifan told him to. Yifan and Luhan were very strict when it came to what they’re going to play, usually ignoring Jongdae’s and Tao’s suggestions. When Chanyeol actually read what he wrote and said the chorus was nice, that they could use it somewhere, Jongdae thought how cool a band was when he actually could voice his ideas.

But living with Indigo Kid also meant he got to see Minseok  _all the time_. In the morning over coffee, when he cooked eggs and bacon for everyone. When he fought with Chanyeol for the leftovers of Chinese food. Or when he went for a morning run at six in the morning and came back home all sweaty in a tight white t-shirt and loose sweatpants. Or when Chanyeol and Kyungsoo decide to fuck and Jongdae couldn’t stand the moaning because their rooms were next door and he had to go to the living room and sit with Minseok, who always said along the lines of "I’m just flipping channels, Jongdae, seriously. Not watching Honey Boo Boo, I swear." Or even worse, after a shower, when he ran into a still wet Minseok covered only by a towel slung low on his hips, showing off his incredible arms and that amazing abs that was just screaming  _touch me, Jongdae_. 

But yeah. Big, big trouble. That was what he told Junmyeon when he called. Because Junmyeon, before being  _band manager Junmyeon_ , was  _Jongdae’s friend Junmyeon_.  Thankfully Minseok was quiet at his room that afternoon. Jongdae didn’t know why, but Minseok recently was always wandering around him, hanging with Jongdae while he worked on some improvements on the new song they were composing. All the eye-fucking was making him crazy and he really, really needed a break from Minseok. He went with the oldie-but-goodie fake headache to avoid Minseok’s company.

 "Joonie, seriously. I don't know what the fuck to do."

Junmyeon was quiet for a moment. "Jongdae... I'm probably the wrong person to talk to about this. You know I'm just going to tell you not to go anywhere near him. It'll ruin everything, and you got a good thing going with the band. Don't lose it.” 

"Shit. Yeah, I know. You're right." Deep breath. "You're right, always right Joonie. And anyway, it's just a crush or whatever, isn’t it? It'll go away. It'll be fine. Completely, totally fine."

 "Right." Junmyeon said but Jongdae just knew he wasn't buying that shit. But, hell, neither was Jongdae himself.

Jongdae took another deep breath. "Okay. So, hey, one more thing I need advice on." 

"What?" Junmyeon sounded relieved about the change in subject and then Jongdae remembered that talking about feelings with Junmyeon might hurt because Junmyeon was still heartbroken because of that fucking Yixing dude, but it wasn’t like he had any other friend he trusted enough to talk about it. He still had old friends back in Seoul, but no, they wouldn’t help him.  _Not that he was Junmyeon to actually help him anyway._

 "How do I get rid of the perpetual boner I've got wherever we're in the same damn room?" Jongdae practically whisper shouted into the phone.

 Junmyeon hung up. Which was totally fair.

 

****

 

"I might have to go to Korea for a couple days next week," Minseok said nonchalantly over cereal the next morning. 

Jongdae looked surprised and then a little hurt. "Oh. Hm. Okay." 

"I mean, my parents asked me to. Don’t think I’m going just because you’ve arrived here or something.”

Jongdae glared and chewed his cereal, a drop of milk running down his chin. "It’s alright. Just... Whatever. I mean, go if you need to."

Minseok took a sip of coffee. "I didn't mean to offend you or anything," he added a little awkwardly.

"No, you didn't. I'm just... Tired, I guess. I don't know." Jongdae stood up and put his bowl in the sink. He stretched his arms up over his head and his t-shirt rode up just enough to show the skin of his hipbones and he could catch Minseok’s glance, cheeks turning into a pretty shade of pink. "I'm gonna go take a shower." Jongdae said, because he was a  _fucking douchebag_  and he needed to  _tease_. 

Minseok waited until Jongdae left the kitchen to drop his head to the table and groan. Why did Jongdae have to just  _announce_  shit like that? Especially after showing just a tiny bit of skin. Minseok really did not need that mental image, thank you very much.

Jongdae laughed when he saw from the corner of his eye Minseok banging his head on the table a couple more times for good measure and then got up and poured himself another cup of coffee before heading back to his room. Jongdae figured he might as well go back up to his room and work on a melody that popped up in his head that morning.

It was a sunny and hot day, the kind of weather he still was not used to, so after half an hour picking randomly at the strings, his room got stuffy and he was sweating, so he had to open the window. He was not fucking prepared to what he saw.

And there he was. A half-naked Minseok doing yoga in the backyard, right under his window. Fucking yoga. He was all stretched, on all fours, hips up and hands on the ground. He kept the pose for what felt like ages, really concentrated, and Jongdae couldn’t take his eyes off him.

“Fuck,” He moaned, reaching for his hardening cock. He stroked it desperately, slightly calloused hands and tight grasp. When he came after a few minutes, he realized that it was the second time that he was jerking off thinking of Minseok.

 Stupid Minseok.

 

****

 

Kyungsoo's latest hobby was cooking, and he decided to make dinner for the group and Junmyeon that night. Someone came up with the idea of some sort of ‘world food tour’ and they randomly chose Russia as the first country to inspire themselves. Kyungsoo looked on the internet for ideas and found a very traditional Russian dish, which was beef stroganoff with plain rice. Chanyeol made sure to buy two bottles of vodka when he went out to buy meat and made them Russian martini while his boyfriend was giving the dinner final touches. Minseok had the duty to buy them dessert, which he promised would be something really good. The group beat it would be something like pecan pie or raspberry cheesecake, though

After a delicious dinner, when Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were far too intoxicated with alcohol, laughing and making out in the couch like Minseok wasn’t even by their side, Junmyeon was stuck doing the dishes. Jongdae hung around with him drinking his martini, chatting about whatever. Suddenly, the manager leaned over to Jongdae and said, "You guys haven't done it yet, have you?" 

"Who hasn't done what?" Jongdae asked as he sipped his drink. He also made a memo to compliment Chanyeol, his bartender skills were kind of a surprise.

Junmyeon gave Jongdae a knowing look. "You and Minseok? The hanky panky?" he asked in a very "duh" tone.

The glass on Jongdae’s hand almost slipped from his grip and cracked on the floor. "The  _what_?" he sputtered.

"I'll take that as a no. But dude. Come on. You've been, like, slipping surreptitious glances at Minseok since you got to LA. And he's been giving you surreptitious glances since you two met or something. Chanyeol said that to me."

 Okay,  _what_? What the fuck was he talking about? 

"Where the fuck did you get surreptitious at first place? No, really. Have you been reading dictionaries when you’ve got nothing to do?” he asked in an admittedly weak effort to distract Junmyeon. 

"The point is, Jongdae, I’m sure that you  _do_  know what it means. What I don't know is when you're going to put poor Minseok out of his misery and just hit on him already. I know you already like him because you fucking told me you have a boner for him every time he’s around you. What’s the problem?"

 Jongdae coughed. "Could you just... Not?" His face had to be bright red, he could feel it. 

Junmyeon shrugged. He was quiet for a moment, but when Jongdae’s drink was over and he placed the glass on the sink, he turned to look him in the eye.

"You did know that already, right? That the thing is reciprocal?” His tone was much quieter and more serious, even if his words weren't. Jongdae opened his mouth to try to answer, but he couldn't to say anything, he just looked down. "You didn't? Seriously? Damn, I really..." He paused. "So, uh, I probably shouldn't have said that. I made the whole thing up! All of it! Even the surreptitious glances thing. I swear."

Jongdae looked back up and met Junmyeon’s eyes. "Joonie..." Was as far as Jongdae got before they heard Kyungsoo's voice in the hallway. Minseok's and Chanyeol’s voice also sounded much closer to the kitchen than Jongdae felt comfortable with. He looked at Junmyeon and gave a weak attempt of a smile in answer to the manager grimace of apology.

Minseok and Chanyeol walked in and no sign of Kyungsoo. The taller went to the refrigerator, pulled out a bottle of vodka and some ice. “I’m gonna make some blue lagoon. “Kyungie is totally drunk and he still wants to drink, I don’t really see a problem,” he laughed. “Besides, he gets really naughty when he’s drunk. Where are the glasses?”

“Uh, don’t wanna know about that.” Jongdae said and then pointed to a cabinet beside Minseok.

When Chanyeol was done preparing the drink, he handed one to Jongdae and Junmyeon. Minseok’s and Kyungsoo’s glass were still untouched.

“C’mon, let’s take this one to my baby.” Chanyeol said, grabbing the glass and taking Junmyeon’s hand.

Minseok was looking from his glass to Jongdae and back again. "What's going on?" he asked quietly.

 "Nothing," Jongdae said quickly. "I was just thinking, you know."

“Oh, okay,” Minseok whispered. “Something’s wrong?”

“No, not really.” Jongdae said and thought God _, that’s getting really awkward_. “Why don’t you drink it? It’s really good.” He asked, sipping the blue liquid. He knew he shouldn’t be drinking that much, but whatever.

 “Yeah,” Minseok agreed, looking suspiciously at the glass. “What is this by the way?”

“Oh, it’s a cocktail made with vodka, blue Curacao, which it’s a kind of liqueur from Central America. Tastes like orange or something like that; it’s really good, a little girly maybe, but yeah. Drink it.”

"We should..." Minseok said after sipping the drink and gestured towards the doorway.

Jongdae was little astonished but all he said was, "Yeah," and he walked out of the kitchen. Minseok took a deep breath and followed. Yeah, Minseok may have heard at least part of that conversation with Junmyeon. Fuck.

 

****

 

"Jongdae, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to be all up in your business and I--" Junmyeon said the morning after. He was sitting on the table, drinking a cup of coffee quietly in the kitchen table.

Jongdae cut him off, his head ached.  _Fucking hangovers_. "It's fine. Promise," He smiled to prove he meant it. "Don't worry about it." Junmyeon smiled back and nodded.

“So I gotta go to work. I wasn’t even expecting to crash here, but I was really tired to drive home yesterday. Say thanks to everyone for last night.” He said placing his mug in the sink and waving goodbye, leaving Jongdae alone in the empty kitchen. 

Jongdae stood still and watched his friend disappear down the corridor, unlocking the door and saying goodbye to someone he found along the way. When Jongdae went to the living room, he found that Minseok was up – it was fucking 8 o’clock in the morning, come on – and he was reading a book quietly in the couch. Suddenly, he sighed and put the book aside, laid his head back and closed his eyes. 

Jongdae simply sat down on the other side of the couch. He glanced around for something, the remote control maybe so he could turn on the TV and watch silly cartoons like he always did when he was hangover, but it was on the end table next to Minseok. He just sat and waited for Minseok to say whatever it was that he was clearly trying to convince himself to say. He could tell that there was  _something_.

They'd been sitting there for a few minutes when Minseok said, without even opening his eyes, "What was Junmyeon apologizing for?" 

Jongdae just said, "Nothing."

But Minseok was clearly having none of that shit. He turned his head and opened one eye to glare dubiously at Jongdae. "It was just something he said when he was washing dishes last night, that's all. No big deal. I wasn't even upset about it."

"Uh," was all Minseok replied. They were quiet for a few more moments and just when Jongdae was considering getting up and going to his room, Minseok spoke again. "What did he say?" 

"Hm?" Jongdae hadn't been expecting Minseok to talk again.

"Junmyeon. What did he say that he felt like he had to apologize for?" 

"It was nothing, Minseok. He just... It was nothing. Really."

Minseok still had his eyes closed, still wasn't looking at Jongdae. This meant that a) Minseok was uncomfortable, and b) that Jongdae could look all he wanted. And he did.

Jongdae looked at Minseok's chestnut hair and imagined his hands pulling at it as Minseok sucked him off. He looked at Minseok's mouth, rosy and perfect and wanted to kiss it. He could see himself leaving a trail of wet kisses down Minseok's throat, leaving a mark just below Minseok's collarbone, where it could be hidden or seen easily. Jongdae's imagination kept going down, over Minseok's body, and right into the gutter. Jongdae thought of licking Minseok's nipples and leaving another trail of kisses down his stomach and that amazing six pack. And then Minseok would flip them over, settle Jongdae so that he was half-sitting with pillows under his head, and kneel over him. Minseok would slowly guide his cock into Jongdae's mouth, but he wouldn't be gentle about it. He'd go slowly, but he'd just keep going until Jongdae had no choice but to deep throat him. 

Jongdae nearly moaned out loud, filthy, just thinking about it. He had to shift around just a little to accommodate his hardening erection. His mouth was watering; he wanted to taste Minseok that bad. 

"Was it about me and you?"

Minseok's voice shocked Jongdae right out of his daydream. "Huh? What?"

Minseok was looking at Jongdae now. "Whatever he said to you. Was it about me and you?"

Jongdae was still trying to get the images out of his head. He was distracted. His defences were down. Before he knew it, he said, "Yeah, it was." 

Minseok nodded. "Okay... So what do you want to do about it?" he asked slowly. 

Jongdae was really glad that his brain-to-mouth filter was starting to kick in and he did  _not_  say, "You should fuck me right now, right here, on this couch." 

Instead, he just lamely said, "What do you mean?" 

Minseok shrugged. "Option one; we can pretend Junmyeon never said anything and that this entire room isn't full of sex tension. Or option two; I’m attracted to you and I know you’re attracted to me too so we could, you know, make out and see where it would lead us. I know you’re one into casual sex, so we could just fuck sometimes and we’d be still okay." He suggested matter-of-factly. 

Jongdae really, really liked the sound of option two. A lot. Non-string sex was awesome. Non-string sex with a fucking hot guy like Minseok was even better.

 But it was still Minseok. Jongdae had been telling himself  _no_  since he met him. Like Junmyeon had said, Jongdae had a good thing going with this band. Even more than he wanted Minseok, he wanted to keep Indigo Kid. He couldn’t just ruin everything, not after he ruined everything with his former band. Jongdae couldn't help hearing Junmyeon's voice in his head  _Minseok's big crush on you_  and the way he said it, in that serious voice, told Jongdae that it was more than just sex that Minseok wanted. And Jongdae... Well, Jongdae kind of just wanted sex. He didn't really want a relationship at the moment, and he knew that one with Minseok could never be casual.

He said quietly, "I don't think it's a good idea, Minseok."

 "Why not? I mean, we've been eye-fucking each other since you came around, Jongdae. You can't deny that. I may look stupid, but I’m.  I've seen you looking at me. We're adults. We want each other. I don't see why it has to be that big of a deal."

"Because, Minseok." Jongdae stuttered and started to fidget with the hem of his loose tee... "Because of the band. I am  _not_  fucking that up. Things would get all awkward."

 "Things won't get awkward if we don't let them get awkward," Minseok said pointedly. "We want each other, we fuck, and we get over it. It wouldn't be more than that."

Jongdae was starting to have trouble coming up with coherent counter-arguments. He just knew he had to say no. He could remember exactly why he had to later. He took a deep breath and said, "No. It's not a good idea. I'm going to get work done in my room. And, no offense, but I'm going to lock the door." He paused on the third step, turned back, and added, "Maybe you should go to your room and work on that rhythm you’re stuck on. We have a deadline to the album."

Minseok gave Jongdae a positively wicked smile. "Yeah, maybe. But I’m still going to Seoul by the end of the week. I want to fuck you before that." 

Jongdae rolled his eyes.  _When did Minseok turned into a fucking tease_? "Smooth, Kim Minseok. Very smooth."


	2. Jongdae gets to know Minseok a little better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay, but here's the update :)
> 
> Hope you like it!
> 
> xoxo

The week Minseok spent on Seoul was hell.

Jongdae had to cope with trying to get his shit done and Kyungsoo and Chanyeol fucking around like rabbits on his own. The things were so bad that it reached to the point that Jongdae started to get hard from just Kyungsoo's high-pitched moans through the thin walls. No wonder the guy was a singer he thought with himself, when Kyungsoo reached a note he never, never reached when singing.

Prior to his departure, Jongdae would have said that Minseok was made of pure cuteness and honor. Three days after that, Jongdae would have said he was made of pure hotness. But two minutes ago, Jongdae discovered that Kim Minseok was actually made of pure evilness.

Minseok had just sent him a picture of him naked, cock hard and heavy between his legs on Snapchat.

"Fuck," Jongdae muttered as he reached for his cock. After some time, Jongdae stopped counting how many times he jerked off and thought of Minseok's hand, Minseok's mouth around his cock. He even fingered himself one night and thought about Minseok's slick fingers stretching him open and stroking his prostate over and over again.

A new notification came up and Jongdae was attempted to ignore it when he saw it was Minseok again, but the little square on Snapchat was purple, which meant it was a video, and shit, how could he ignore a video Minseok was sending him when he had just sent a picture of his dick?

When he clicked on the icon, he actually held his breath because there was Minseok jerking off, his hand around his cock pumping him quickly and Jongdae could actually hear his ragged moans on the background and shit, Jongdae was only human.

That night Jongdae came whispering Minseok's name. Fucking Minseok.

 

****

 

Jongdae had gotten up first and was just sitting down at the table on his laptop, drinking some fresh coffee when Minseok came into the kitchen into nothing but gray sweatpants and a towel hanging around on his neck. He was all sweaty and sticking, breathing heavy. Yoga, Jongdae thought. He stared as Minseok grabbed a glass and headed right for the fridge.

"Good morning," he greeted Jongdae. He poured some orange g juice and didn't seem to notice that Jongdae was practically drooling.

Minseok leaned on the counter and sipped his juice like he wasn't the hottest, sexiest, most evil man that Jongdae had ever seen. "So what are you up to today?" Minseok asked casually.

"Hm. What?" Jongdae was never at his most eloquent before his second cup of coffee, but he just could not think with Minseok standing there.

Minseok gave him an amused smile. "I asked what you are up to today."

"Oh. Right," Jongdae tried to think. "I-- I don't know? Actually, I have to go downstairs now. I was playing with Chanyeol's drums, working on a song I made yesterday on the electric guitar and it was really, really Indigo Kid new album material." Jongdae didn't even pause to fill his mug with more coffee. He got up and practically ran to the stairs, to the soundproof room on the basement, with a hard-on and trying to hide it as best as he could.

He slipped into the studio and slammed the door behind him. He leaned back on it and lasted about two seconds before he shoved his pants down and put his hand on his cock. He jerked himself quickly, and when he came, he banged his head back against the door and couldn't quite keep in a probably embarrassing noise that sounded too much like Minseok.

As he stood there trying to catch his breath, he could have sworn he heard footsteps near the stairs but was sure it was just his imagination.

 

****

 

The next night, when the band had finally finished arranging five songs for the new album and had all the demos recorded, they decided to watch all three original The Godfather movies as a reward. Jongdae invited everyone, even Junmyeon, hoping for chaperones, but the couple preferred to go downtown to dinner at a fancy restaurant - and probably after that they'd go to a motel and fuck all night long - and Junmyeon had to work late, so it was just Jongdae and Minseok. It would be fine. By the time Jongdae had gotten up enough courage to go back upstairs the day before, Minseok was dressed and acted perfectly normal the rest of the day. And that morning, he had showered and dressed after yoga before he even went for breakfast. Just in case, though, Jongdae sat on the couch, curled into the corner, as far away from where Minseok sat on the armchair as he could get without being in another room.

The first movie went just fine. Minseok stayed where he was, Jongdae stayed where he was. But then, just as Jongdae was getting comfortable, evil Minseok struck back. He got up to bring more snacks and coke, so went to the kitchen and at the time he came back, Jongdae had already reached for his tablet and clicked on the second movie. Minseok sat on the opposite side of the couch, not nearly as far as Jongdae would have liked because the couch wasn't that big anyways.

They were only partway through the movie when Minseok shifted around and lay on the couch with his head in Jongdae's lap. "This okay?" he asked as he glanced up at Jongdae.

 Jongdae glared. "I hate you."

 Evil Minseok gave him an innocent, angelic smile. "Shh, just watch the movie. It'll be fine." And then he settled in on Jongdae's lap to do just that. Which meant Jongdae was going to spend the rest of the night trying to tamp down his erection because Minseok's head was right there. And his hand was resting on Jongdae's knee, his thumb rubbing lightly back and forth.

Jongdae tried to watch the movie. He really did. But if he had never seen it before, he would have had no idea what it was about. There was a short - too short, in Jongdae's opinion -reprieve when the second movie ended and Minseok shift until the third started. But when it did, Minseok was right back, head in Jongdae's lap, and hand on his knee.

About forty minutes in, Jongdae was having a tough time keeping still. Even the prospect of the Corleone's clan couldn't distract him and those dudes were pretty awesome. All Jongdae could really think was that he wanted Minseok to turn around and put his mouth on his dick. That would be amazing. If Minseok would just turn over, slowly push down Jongdae pants and pull out his cock and take it into his mouth... Jongdae cleared his throat and shifted just a little under Minseok.

"Everything okay?" Minseok turned his head to look at Jongdae.

Jongdae looked at him in disbelief for a moment. "No, Minseok. It's not."

"Oh," Minseok pushed himself up a bit on his elbows. "What's wrong?" That did, thankfully, get his head off of Jongdae's lap. But it also put his mouth within kissing range.

"Minseok," Jongdae ground out. He put his head back and closed his eyes. "What are you doing to me? Why are you doing this?"

Jongdae opened his eyes and watched Minseok sit up and kneel on the couch, his knees digging into Jongdae's thigh a little. He reached for the remote control and turned the TV off and then looked at Jongdae. "I'm not doing anything."

"Minseok, it's such a bad idea. Seriously. It could fuck up everything. You know what happens when Chanyeol and Kyungsoo fight. You remember last month when a girl hit on Chanyeol and Kyungsoo was jealous so he delayed the record because he was pissed. "

Minseok rolled his eyes. "That's because they're stupid about. I know them for a long time, even before they got together, and they're both emotionally idiot people. They liked each other for a year before Chanyeol had the guts to ask him on a date. Besides, it'd just be a thing. Not even a thing. Just, you know, whatever. We fuck a few times, and then you go back to Seoul and we finish recording the album or whatever."

"Would that really be it, though?" Jongdae asked quietly.

"Yes! Jongdae. I want you. You want me. We're both consenting adults who would have safe sex. It'd just be a good time, just for fun. Friends with benefits. There's no reason that it would have to be more than that."

 "I'd never think you'd be one for casual sex."

"You don't know a lot about me," Minseok assured.

Jongdae took a deep breath. He was so close. So close to taking Minseok at his word, ignoring everything that Junmyeon told him, ignoring everything that Jongdae didn't ever think about.

"I just... I can't lose this, Minseok. Working with this band is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't lose it."

"You won't, I promise. It'll be fine. We won't let it be anything else but fine, okay?" Minseok whispered as he leaned in close. His lips brushed over Jongdae's lightly, it was barely a kiss, but if Jongdae had any cons left in him, it disappeared at that first touch.

Minseok shifted until he was straddling Jongdae, one knee on each side of him. His hands were on Jongdae's cheeks, holding his head in place exactly where he wanted it. Jongdae's hands slid up under Minseok's shirt, running his hands on his sides. Minseok broke the kiss, a string of saliva connecting their mouths, and pulled his shirt off and then Jongdae's. Jongdae's hands got caught up, and Minseok just grabbed his wrists and held them above Jongdae's head. Jongdae couldn't help the moan and the way his hips jerked up at the way Minseok was holding him down. Minseok pulled back just a little. "Like that, huh?" he asked with a smile.

Jongdae just nodded and leaned forward to catch Minseok's lips again. Minseok's hands slid down Jongdae's sides, raking his nails lightly and Jongdae shivered. Minseok kept right on going, running his hands over Jongdae's chest, and drawing random patterns on his navel with his fingers, rough pads against Jongdae's overheated skin. Minseok climbed down until he was on the floor, between Jongdae's legs, and pulled his pants down, with Jongdae lifting his hips for help.

Apparently evil Minseok was not just into seducing Jongdae, he was also all about teasing. He licked and nipped and kissed Jongdae's thighs, his stomach, his hips, avoiding his cock altogether. "Minseok, please," Jongdae gasped and evil Minseok only smiled up at him and then ducked his head to lick a stripe up the underside of Jongdae's dick and over the slit. He paused and looked at Jongdae again, just to let Jongdae know he was doing it all on purpose.

 Jongdae let out a whine and pushed his hips up, telling Minseok what he wanted without words. Minseok narrowed his eyes and put his hands on Jongdae's hips and shoved Jongdae down. He held on so tight, kept Jongdae so still, that Jongdae knew he'd have little bruises later. The thought of that just turned Jongdae on even more.

And then, thank fucking God, and only then Minseok took Jongdae in his mouth. Jongdae knew he wasn't going to last long at all. Minseok squeezed Jongdae's ass and hips tighter and pulled him up, and then pushed him back down, and then he did it again. And Jongdae couldn't stop thinking about that was so hot, Minseok controlling every second of Jongdae fucking his mouth.

Jongdae felt it building up inside him, knew he was seconds from coming. He tugged at Minseok's hair a little, but Minseok just pushed Jongdae's cock further down his own throat, constricting deliciously and that was enough. Jongdae came, harder and, fuck, louder than he ever had in a long time. He was pretty sure his throat would be a little raw later, especially if Minseok let him go down on him too.

Minseok swallowed his cum and eased off of Jongdae's dick. Jongdae collapsed back on the couch, but he grabbed Minseok's arm and pulled enough for Minseok to get the hint and climb back over Jongdae and kiss him. Jongdae ran his hands up and down Minseok's sides before reaching down and pushing down his sweatpants. He pulled back from Minseok's mouth to ask, "Want me to?"

Minseok shook his head. "Won't last much. Just your hand, please," he breathed. He was right. Jongdae jacked him a few times while mouthing at his neck and then he was coming, all over Jongdae's chest.

 He dropped his head to Jongdae's shoulder, breathing heavy and loud. He ran his fingers over Jongdae's chest and then brought his hand up to Jongdae's mouth; fingers dripping with his cum. Jongdae looked over and kept eye contact while he parted his lips and sucked Minseok's fingers in and licked them clean. "Jesus," Minseok whispered as he pulled out his fingers and leaned over to replace them with his tongue.

 After a few minutes, or maybe hours, Minseok leaned back and said, "Bed?"

Jongdae looked down at the mess on him and said, "Shower."

Minseok smirked. "Yeah, okay. Shower, then bed."

Jongdae nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

"Going to sleep alone tonight?" Minseok asked as they picked up their clothes on the floor.

"Fuck you," was Jongdae's brilliant, cutting comeback.

"Mmm, something tells me you'd rather I fuck you."

Jongdae's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion. "When did you become so naughty?"

"Don't you wanna know," Minseok laughed. 

 

 


	3. Jongdae never says sorry

There were a couple of things Jongdae knew about Minseok. Stuff he'd noticed right away and stuff he'd picked up after all that time spent living with him with almost no personal space. While Jongdae had known these things before, he never would have considered the impact on his sex life.

One: Despite looking like Minseok was slow, he was pretty good at reading people and figuring out what they wanted, sometimes even when they didn't know about it. Once, Kyungsoo told Jongdae that Minseok was the first to notice that Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were pinning for each other, even before they had realized it themselves. Chanyeol was that type of friend who annoyed the shit out of him just to get Kyungsoo pissed and after he chilled out say ‘you look cute when you’re angry’ and suddenly, Kyungsoo thought that maybe he liked when Chanyeol tried to get him angry. But, for Jongdae, it meant that Minseok had already figured out that he didn't really want to be in charge during sex.

For instance, their second time was a few minutes after the first. They had showered and collapsed in Minseok's bed, sated and sleepy. Until Minseok had woken Jongdae up before dawn with his mouth around Jongdae's cock. Jongdae was just waking up and realizing that it was, in fact, not the best wet dream he'd ever had, but real life, when Minseok was pushing Jongdae's legs a little further apart and slipping a finger behind his balls. He'd barely gotten in a fingertip when Jongdae came. Minseok swallowed and crawled up over Jongdae and kissed him, the taste of his cum lingering on his tongue. Jongdae had enough presence of mind to reach down and wrap his fist around Minseok's cock.

He only stroked a couple of times before Minseok was pushing up off of him and crawling up further. He kneeled up, over Jongdae's face and Jongdae eagerly took Minseok in his mouth. Minseok didn't seem to be in much of a hurry and his thrusts were shallow. Jongdae gripped the back of Minseok's thighs as he slowly sucked at Minseok’s pace. Jongdae couldn't help arching up a bit, trying to get more of the elder inside his mouth, and trying not to whine when he didn't get it right away. Minseok backed off a little, gave Jongdae only the head of his cock, smearing precum over his lips as he looked down at him with a wicked smile on his face. Jongdae did the best he could to glare back. It was kind of tough to pout with his mouth so full, though.

But then Minseok pushed forward and kept pushing, slowly but deliberately, stopping only when he hit the back of Jongdae's throat. Jongdae's eyes slid shut and he moaned around Minseok’s cock and he noticed how Minseok inhaled deeply and began to really fuck Jongdae's mouth, hard and fast. Jongdae could tell when Minseok was getting close and he kept his hands on Minseok's ass, pulling him close and not letting him pull out. Minseok came down his throat and Jongdae had to admit he liked it.

Minseok shifted back and dropped to Jongdae's side. He buried his face in the pillow, just above Jongdae's shoulder. "Fuck," he murmured.

"Yeah," Jongdae said, his voice raw and used. "Yeah."

Two: Minseok didn't like interruptions.

Two nights later, Jongdae still couldn't get enough of Minseok. Minseok showed no signs of slowing down either. They were on Jongdae's bed in the middle of the afternoon, when Chanyeol and Kyungsoo went out to buy food for dinner. Jongdae was on his back with a pillow under his hips, legs spread wide. Minseok was kneeling in front of him, working a slicked-up finger inside him. Jongdae was about to ask for another when his phone started ringing on the nightstand.

"Ignore it," Minseok ordered.

Jongdae nodded. But instead of a beep for a message, it rang again. Minseok's hand stilled, but stayed where it was. Jongdae stretched and grabbed it, worried for a quick second that it could be an emergency. "It's Junmyeon. He'll keep calling, you know him." Jongdae said as the phone started ringing for the third time.

"Then I guess you better answer it and talk to him," Minseok told him as he pushed his finger deeper into Jongdae.

Jongdae tried his best to not sound breathless as he said, "Hey, Joonie."

"Hi! Thought I'd see how things were going with the composing. Chanyeol sent me a file with the demos of the five songs you finished this week. It’s already half an album, but the record is putting pressure on me."

"Yeah, we’re working on that," Jongdae said through gritted teeth. He accidentally let out a small moan as Minseok added a second finger.

"What are you- Are you jerking off, Jongdae? That's sick, why'd you answer the phone?"

"'I’m not jerking off, and anyway, you would have kept calling." Minseok was adding a third finger, stretching Jongdae further. Jongdae bit his lip to keep from making any other awkward noises.

"Then what are you doing, Jongdae?" Junmyeon paused and Jongdae couldn't say anything. Minseok had just wrapped his hand around his cock. "Are you two fucking, Jongdae?" Jongdae couldn't help the way his hips twitched when Junmyeon figured it out. There was maybe a possibility that Jongdae liked the idea of being watched. "Fuck! What did I tell you? And why am I still on the phone with you?" Junmyeon shouted.

"Don't know," Jongdae said in a rush.

Junmyeon hung up. Again. Which was totally fair.

Jongdae hung up the phone and dropped it on the mattress. "Fuck, Minseok! That was- God! That was just mean! You’re supposed to be a good boy."

Minseok shrugged as he continued to use both hands to drive Jongdae absolutely insane. "I was in the middle of something. I don't like to stop what I'm doing. And don't think I didn't notice how excited you were when Junmyeon guessed that we were fucking. I could hear him. Are you an exhibitionist, Jongdae?" Minseok leaned forward to steal a quick kiss.

"No?" Jongdae answered breathlessly.

"So the thought of being watched doesn't turn you on?" Minseok asked as he pulled his fingers away from Jongdae's ass and cock. He reached for the condom sitting on the blanket next to him.

“Oh fuck!" Jongdae answered Minseok's question as the elder thrust deep into Jongdae with barely a warning.

"I think you're lying to me, Jongdae," Minseok said, his voice getting breathier, hoarse. "I think you like to imagine people watching you. I think you want someone to walk through that door right now."

Jongdae was limited to incoherent noises by then. Minseok's hand was back around Jongdae's dick, jerking him off to match the rhythm he set. "You do, don't you? Should I call Soo and Chanyeol later? Maybe Junmyeon... Should I ask them to come over? And just coincidentally happen to be fucking you on the couch when they let themselves in?"

Jongdae met Minseok's thrusts, shoved his hips up and back hard. His hands were gripping Minseok's ass, trying to hold him closer, to bring him in deeper. Minseok's cock hit his prostate one more time and Jongdae came, head back and mouth open but silent.

Minseok fucked him harder, saying, "God, Jongdae. You're so hot like this. Gonna cum-" And then he stiffened, one, two, three deep thrusts and he wasn't very silent when he came. He let out a noise that Jongdae was pretty sure was supposed to be his name.

Minseok collapsed over him, biting Jongdae's shoulder lightly. After a minute, he moved, pulled out and rolled off of Jongdae. He took a deep breath and then got up to get rid of the condom. He disappeared into the bathroom and came back with some toilet paper to wipe off the mess on Jongdae's stomach and then his own. He tossed it on the garbage and then lay back down on his stomach; head pillowed on his hands and looked at Jongdae.

Minseok was wearing a satisfied, almost smug smile.

"What?" Jongdae asked suspiciously. He had the distinct impression Minseok was laughing at him.

"Nothing," Jongdae raised his eyebrow at that. Minseok shrugged. "I like knowing things about you, that’s it."

 Jongdae considered that. "See? I knew us fucking was a bad idea," he said, but he couldn't even keep the smile away to finish the sentence.

"Shut up," Minseok answered. "I know you're having fun."

"Yeah, I am."

“And you're such an exhibitionist!"

Jongdae shoved at Minseok's shoulder. "I am not!"

"You so are! I'm definitely telling."

Jongdae groaned. "Please, whatever happens, do not let Chanyeol find out."

Minseok laughed. "Why not?"

"Because you know how he is. When he finds out, he’ll tease us about this forever. Besides, I don’t know how they, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol would react if he knew about this thing.” Jongdae said.

Minseok smiled softly, agreeing. "I’m sure they wouldn’t mind, but okay."

Jongdae’s eyes drifted shut, changing the subject for him. "I need to take a nap. You had worn me out."

 "Okay,” Minseok smiled as he got up of Jongdae’s bed. He stretched his arms over his head and started to put on his clothes. "Goodnight." Minseok he said and then gave Jongdae a quick kiss before heading into his bedroom.

Three: Minseok was a fucking tease.

That morning Jongdae locked himself in the studio for about four hours with the goal of coming upstairs only when he had, at least, a good riff line done. After the success of the Russian night, they decided that Japanese night would be a good idea, with lots of sushi, sashimi, and sake. Jongdae had drunk a lot in that night and said things he didn’t really mean. He said that Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were fucking stupid and told them to fuck themselves after an argument over something he couldn’t even remember.

“I don’t fucking care if Junmyeon will talk shit about me,” Jongdae shouted when Kyungsoo said he should slow down with the drinking. “You know what, I don’t know why the fuck I accepted to move to LA and live here with you! I was so much better on my own in Seoul!” He shouted. “You all suck! Why don’t you take care of your fucking damn business?”

“Jongdae, you’re drunk. You should go to bed before you say more stupid shit.” Chanyeol said, sounding a little upset, but not really angry.

“Don’t tell me how to live my life,” Jongdae spat. “Who the fuck are you? You’re not my dad to tell me how to live my life. Not even my dad told me how to live my life!”

“Maybe that’s why your band kicked you out! You’re a selfish prick!” Chanyeol roared back and there was a point that Chanyeol was ready to hit Jongdae, his hand open and going into Jongdae’s face. “You’re fucking stupid Jongdae, always fucking up things!”

“Stop this!” Kyungsoo said suddenly, getting up from the couch and grabbing Jongdae by his arm. Minseok was still sitting, quiet and eyes wide. “Come on, let’s go to your room.”

“Don’t you touch me!” Jongdae shouted, avoiding Kyungsoo’s tight grip. “You all sound like Junmyeon. What the hell! You were fun last week drinking vodka and- And now you’re all like this! God, I hate you all! Fuck you!”

Minseok, who was still quiet, simply stood up and seized Jongdae by the collar of his shirt and dragged him to the stairs without making a sound. Once they were in the Jongdae’s bedroom, Minseok closed the door and threw Jongdae on his bed.

“Stop acting like a fucking child, Jongdae!” The elder said firmly, voice rising up a tone and he sounded angry. “You’re drunk and only talking shit. Watch your fucking mouth!”

“I bet you’d rather wish my mouth was occupied by your dick instead.” Jongdae teased, voice cracking, the alcohol affecting his thoughts completely.

“Shut up and go to sleep. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” He said once he got to the door. He took a final look at Jongdae – hair disheveled, red and swollen eyes and mouth dry – and left the room without saying another word.

The morning after, Jongdae woke up with one of the worst headaches ever and his phone ringing loudly on the nightstand. Junmyeon shouted at him, saying he couldn’t believe Jongdae had done such thing and then he shouted again and louder, which was fair. Jongdae was totally sorry and regretful and then he remembered Minseok’s angry tone when he put him in bed. God, he was totally fucked.

Jongdae didn’t have the guts to show up for breakfast and sneaked into the studio right after he took a shower and drank a big cup of coffee and ate a couple cookies he found on the table to relieve the effects from the hangover. He’d been feeling a little guilty about Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. Shouting and telling them he hated them and to fuck themselves was not a very good idea if he wanted to stay in the band. Once he got to the studio, he found out that Chanyeol was already in there, revising the sheets quietly, like he wasn’t even there. Jongdae knew he should bribe him. He should also bribe Kyungsoo for that little ridiculous show.

After apologizing and practicing together with Chanyeol, Jongdae thought he should work out on a little surprise for Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. He knew they were still really pissed with him. He went out and came back home with a pair of tickets for a musical Chanyeol wanted to attend and could take Kyungsoo for a quality couple time. Jongdae was also two hundred bucks poorer when he came back.

The moment he stepped into his bedroom, Jongdae thought he was going to a) pass out or b) have a heart attack because fuck, Minseok was naked on his bed, jerking himself off. The elder pulled Jongdae by the hand and rolled him onto his back, holding his arms up. Jongdae couldn’t even process what was happening because Minseok was already kissing him, messy and hard and hot.

Jongdae didn’t think before he couldn't help but whisper, "Jesus, Minseok."

Minseok opened his eyes and leaned back on his elbows to look at him. "Hm?"

 Jongdae cleared his throat. "Nothing."

"You sure?"

Jongdae nodded and continued kissing him. Minseok pinned him down and bit his neck and collarbones and his hands started to squeeze his hips. Jongdae couldn’t help to get hard. 

Minseok whispered as he nipped at Jongdae's ear, "Take all your clothes off, I wanna try something new." And Jongdae nodded as he stripped himself, his cock was already hard. Minseok put his mouth back to Jongdae's lips and kissed him, hot and wet and filthy, and then Jongdae heard a click. Handcuffs. Fucking fuck.

Minseok palmed Jongdae’s erection and licked a stripe on his neck, biting hard at the end. Jongdae was rolling his hips against Minseok’s thighs, trying to get any kind of friction because he was hard, unbelievable hard, and Minseok wasn’t giving him any. Minseok mouthed at this neck, his throat and then started to lick at his chest and his nipples and Jongdae thought he’d come just from that. Minseok licked and sucked his nipples and then shoved his fingers into Jongdae’s mouth.

“Get them nice and wet for me, babe,” He breathed and Jongdae couldn’t hold back the embarrassing moan that came up his throat while he coated Minseok’s fingers with saliva. When they were dripping and glistening wet, Minseok snaked them to his ass and started to play with his hole, massaging the rim, but never getting them inside. Jongdae was reduced to a mess of ragged breaths and moans that dangerously sounded like Minseok.

“You want me to fuck you, babe?” Minseok asked, the tip of his slick finger teasing the tight muscle and Jongdae nodded.

“Please, Minseok, please,” Jongdae begged, yanking the handcuffs and Minseok grinned, leaning over him.

“Well, since you’ve been a very bad boy, you’re not going to get what you want.” He whispered by Jongdae’s ear and then tugged at his earlobe.

Oh, there it is, Jongdae thought. Minseok was taking too long to punish him and he didn’t show up at the morning to talk. So yeah, Minseok was punishing him with a sex strike. Unbelievable. 

“Oh my God! Are you really doing this?” Jongdae asked, laughing to not cry.

“Yes. You need to apologize. If you don’t, then we're not going to have sex.”

“Oh, Minseok. I get it, it’s really sweet what you’re doing, team-bonding and stuff, but you were the one who started with the sex thing. I don’t understand exactly how you’re punishing me with a sex boycott if who really wants it’s you.”

“So you don’t want it?” Minseok asked, arching an eyebrow. “You didn’t like last time?”

“It was ok, I guess.” Jongdae lied because truth it was; Minseok was one of the best fucks of his life.

“Just ok, yeah I see,” Minseok wasn’t buying that shit so he laughed. Jongdae wanted to know when the fuck that quiet and the sweet boy turned into a bag of sarcasm, cockiness, and sass.

“Just so you know I’ve bought something to apologize. I got Chanyeol and Kyungsoo a pair of tickets for that musical Chanyeol wanted to go. They weren’t cheap.” Jongdae said.

“You don’t need to buy things; you just need to say you’re sorry.”

“But- Oh God, it’s humiliating. I never say I’m sorry.”

“Now you do,” Minseok smiled. “Tonight. Dinner. We can order Chinese; I’m done with Japanese for a long time.” 

 


	4. Jongdae goes to New York

Minseok laughed a little and knelt in front of him. He put his arms around Jongdae's neck and kissed him again, still quick and hot as hell. This time, it was Jongdae who pulled away first. He knew what he wanted, so he turned around and settled on his hands and knees in front of Minseok. He heard Minseok cursing as he grabbed Jongdae's hips, fingers already clutching tight enough to leave bruises.

Then Minseok did that thing, where he knows what people want before they know themselves. Jongdae was moaning, wanting Minseok's fingers, needing something inside him, and filling him up. But before he could even ask, he felt Minseok’s hot breath, Minseok's lips, Minseok's tongue on his hole.

Jongdae let out a surprised moan and dropped down so that his head was resting on the pillows. He tried not to push himself down onto Minseok's face, he didn't want him to stop, but shit, it was hard to keep still. Especially when Minseok reached around and wrapped his hand around Jongdae's cock. And, oh God, if he kept that up, it would all be over way too soon.

"Minseok... Fuck, Minseok. Fuck me. Please," Jongdae said breathlessly. Minseok squeezed the base of Jongdae's cock as he pushed his tongue into Jongdae even further. "Fuck, fuck. Ah!" Jongdae couldn't form any other words, just some groan-y noises.

 Minseok lifted his head and Jongdae heard him opening the lube. He'd barely put two fingers into Jongdae, barely stretched him at all, before Jongdae was telling him to, "Fucking fuck me, Minseok! I’m ready! Fuck!" He knew he could stand to be a little more prepared, but he was hoping that the burn and that hurt-so-good pain of Minseok's dick would bring him back from the edge and give him a little more of self-control. As it was, he almost came just from the sound of the condom wrapper as Minseok tore it open.

 It did burn a bit when Minseok entered him, pushing steadily until he was all the way in until Jongdae felt Minseok's thighs lined up with his own. Minseok stopped, and for a minute, the only sound in the room was their harsh and heavy breathing.

Jongdae felt Minseok slide out, almost unbearably slow, driving him crazy. He pushed in slow and steady again, but when he paused, he let out a quiet, "Jongdae. God."

"Minseok, please," Was all Jongdae could reply. He felt Minseok lean forward and press his mouth to Jongdae's neck. That was sweet and all, but Jongdae really, really needed to be fucked. He pushed his hips back, not all that gently, trying to fuck himself on Minseok's cock.

He felt a breath of laughter on his neck and shivered when Minseok sat back up and the cool air hit his chest. But the important part was that Minseok listened to him. After a couple of quick, hard thrusts, Minseok's cock hit Jongdae's prostate dead on. A few more and Jongdae was coming, without a hand anywhere near his dick.

Minseok turned him around and thanks mostly to his firm grip on his hips, he was able to stay up on his hands and knees. He loved that feeling when he'd already come, and Minseok was getting closer, holding Jongdae up and basically just using him to get himself off. It was incredibly hot and made Jongdae a bit disappointed that there was no way he'd be able to go again anytime soon.

 Minseok came and they both collapsed onto the bed. Minseok stayed, still inside and on top of Jongdae, for a minute or two while they both tried to catch their breath. Just when Jongdae was about to complain that Minseok was smashing him, he felt Minseok pull out. He must have dealt with the condom quickly because he was back in a second, draping himself over Jongdae's body. Jongdae hummed and said, "So this is what I get when I’m a good boy and apologize?"

His face was turned toward Minseok's, only a few inches apart. "Kind of," Minseok said back in a rush tone. Minseok was quiet for a few more minutes, but when Jongdae thought he might have been asleep, he said, "I bet Kyungsoo hates musicals, did you see his face when he read the ticket?”

Jongdae laughed and closed his eyes.

 

 

****

 

 

The four of them hung out the night before Jongdae was due to travel to New York. Junmyeon needed him to sign some contracts as soon as possible and it would be easier if he flew across the country to do it. They ordered pizza and were about to watch some random horror movie Chanyeol netflixed. "At least, there are Korean subtitles," Kyungsoo pointed out when Jongdae started complaining.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were stretched out on the loveseat, which left the couch for Jongdae and Minseok. Jongdae sat at one end and instead of taking the other; Minseok flopped down and put his head on Jongdae's lap. "This okay?" he asked with a knowing smile.

Jongdae glared. "I hate you." He flicked Minseok's head to make his point.

Minseok simply said, "Yeah, you keep saying that. Yet, you won’t leave me alone for a second." His big eyes went wide and he tried to pretend he’d said nothing – or at least not too loud and hope that the couple hadn’t heard him.

Chanyeol just said drolly, "Please. Get a room or something, this is kind of embarrassing.”

“Wha-“ Minseok started, but Chanyeol cut him off.

"Oh come on, Minseok. You two are so obvious.”

 "Yeah, he’s right. And it’s not like we care that you’re fucking, but get a room," Kyungsoo said, crossing his arms. "Can we just watch the damn movie now, please?"

Jongdae decided not to think about anything, to just enjoy the company of his band mates. He was flying to New York at the next morning and he'd be there for at a couple days. He was excited about that; things were going well so far.

 

 

****

 

 

The second night on New York Jongdae met a group of people around his age that were hosted at the same hotel as him and they clicked immediately. They hung out together after Jongdae went to the record to sign some papers and they were pretty awesome.

They were at a pub in Soho and there was a girl who was pretty hot, brunette with blue eyes. He asked if she wanted to drink something and when they were in the line to get their drinks, he put a hand around her waist and she gave him a smile. They did the careful game of one-up flirting - she shifted a little closer, he put his hand on her knee, she uncrossed her legs and spread them just a little, he slid his hand higher up her thigh - until she got up, gave him a knowing grin, and went towards the bathrooms.

Jongdae was right behind her. There was a short line for the ladies' room, so Jongdae took a quick look in the men's room and pulled her in after him. There was a guy washing his hands and leaving, but he just smirked at them as they went right into a stall.

She leaned back against the wall, grabbed Jongdae's collar, and pulled him in to kiss her. Jongdae put his hands on her waist and his thigh between her legs and couldn't stop himself from thrusting forward a bit as he opened his mouth to her tongue. She let out a little noise and her hips shifted forward to rub against his thigh. Jongdae kept his mouth on hers as he reached down to lift her skirt up, giving him easier access. He ran his fingers over the barely-there scrap of fabric she was wearing as underwear and couldn't help but moan as he felt just how hot and wet she was already.

He shoved her panties down around her ankles and slipped a finger inside her. She immediately started fucking herself on his hand and shit, that was fucking hot. Another finger inside her and he pushed his palm up to give her something to rub against.

She'd stopped kissing him, was just breathing hot and heavy against his mouth. He shifted a little and mouthed and licked down her neck. She was making small hot noises as she continued to thrust against his hand. When he pulled back a little to look at her face, her eyes were closed and she was biting her lip, head back against the wall. He slid his other hand up under her shirt and shifted her bra out of the way. She gasped when he rubbed his thumb over her nipple. He pulled the other cup down too, and raked the shirt around her shoulders, leaning down to lick her. Boobs were seriously just fucking amazing, he thought as he sucked her nipple through his teeth.

She ground down hard against his hand and he felt her contracting around his fingers. He pushed up and rubbed his palm faster against her. She let out a loud, "Oh! Fuck!" as she came harder. He kept his hand still for a minute as she shuddered and collapsed against him. He held onto her for a moment and then pushed her panties up back in place and fixed her skirt. She adjusted her bra and pulled her shirt down.

"You’re hot," She said breathlessly, nipping at his earlobe. “You look like a rock star with these clothes on.”

Jongdae knew it was a little obnoxious, but he also knew that his smile was incredibly smug. He couldn't help it. "Do I?"

She nodded with a satisfied smile. “Yeah, you should get a couple of piercings too. It would be hot. You’re not from here, are you?” The girl asked, sliding her hand down his chest and cupped his cock through his jeans. He was fucking hard.

“No, I’m from Korea,” He whispered back.

“Thought so,” She laughed on his neck, playing with the zipper of his jeans. “I have a soft spot for Asian boys. Especially when they’re as hot as you.”

And that, of course, was when they heard the door creak open and Jeff’s voice, a guy out of the group he had met earlier in the hotel. "Jongdae, you in here? We’re going to a club down the street, wanna go too?"

 "Yeah," Jongdae said, hoping his voice wasn't too rough. “Just gimme five minutes?”

“Sure, we’ll be waiting for you, man. Have fun in the there.” The guy laughed and he slammed the door shut.

"Oh, what a shame," She said, biting at his lip. "We only have five minutes," She squeezed his dick a little. "I’ll have to make it worth."

"Yeah?"

She grinned as she pushed him around so that he was the one leaning back against the wall. Then she unzipped his jeans and slid them and his boxers down a little. "Yeah, you look like you not gonna last too much anyways," she said as she dropped to her knees.

She didn't waste any time, just went straight for his cock and took it in her mouth. She sucked hard, using her hand to do the rest. Jongdae clenched his hands at his side to keep from grabbing her hair. She was good; he was definitely not going to last long.

She ran her tongue up the length of his dick and flicked it over the head of his cock before tonguing the slit a little. When she slid back down, to touch her lips to her hand, he knew he was going to come. He warned her, but she let him come in her mouth. God, he loved that.

Jongdae stood, leaning heavily on the wall, head back and eyes closed. He heard her spit into the toilet and then flush it. He tucked himself back in and zipped and buttoned his jeans back up. "Yeah," he said breathlessly.

She stood up and smiled. "Yeah," she said. Jongdae nodded and then put his hand on the back of her head to pull her in for a quick kiss. "Now I've really gotta go," he told her and she nodded. She didn't offer her number, and he didn't ask because that’s the way it is. But she did say, "Maybe I'll run into you again sometime, rock star."

He couldn't help but grin. "Maybe."

He turned and left, blowing out a breath he had been holding. Oh man. Girls. They were so different from Minseok.

He froze for a second. They were different from guys. Not just Minseok. Right. Because Minseok was just a thing. That was all. He just missed his cock.

Right. Yeah.

 

 

****

 

 

Jongdae was sleeping it off the next morning when his cell phone began playing the Kwiyomi Song. Fucking Minseok. Jongdae had forgotten he'd given him an ironic ringtone. He was really, really not a morning person, so he just let it ring. But it started ringing again, actually sounding more insistent. So he rolled over and felt around the nightstand for it.

"Mmm?" Was all Jongdae managed to say. It was way too early for words.

"Unlock your door," Minseok said irritably.

"Huh?" Jongdae was not exactly at his best before coffee. Minseok knew this. So why the fuck was he calling?

"Open. Your. Door." Minseok said slowly.

Jongdae could just barely hear knocking. Oh. Apparently there was someone at the door. He hung up the phone without saying anything else to Minseok and dragged himself out of bed and through the hotel room. He was yawning and scratching his head as he opened the door.

Minseok raised his eyebrow as he gave Jongdae a once-over. It was then that Jongdae realized he was wearing a pair of boxer briefs. And nothing else. After that, he realized that it was Minseok who'd been banging on the door.

"What the fuck?" Jongdae asked. He really needed to be more awake for this.

"Hello to you too," Minseok said. "Are you going to let me in?"

"Oh. Right," Jongdae said as he stepped back, opening the door wider. Minseok dropped his duffle bag on the floor next to the door and then sit on the edge of the bed. "What are you doing here in New York?"

 Minseok shrugged. "Just wanted to get out of LA and the lovey-dovey couple for a bit, I guess. I think that Soo and Chanyeol are happy because they can fuck against every wall of the house without me complaining."

 "Oh. You running away from them? That’s new." Jongdae really had no idea what was going on, but he did know that Minseok was lying. "Let’s get some coffee," he said, pointing to the door. "I'm going to go get dressed." He went to the bathroom and after washing his face and brushing his teeth; he grabbed a pair of jeans and tee shirt that were on his bag. At least, he'd taken a shower before he passed out so he didn't smell like alcohol in the morning.

 "So..." Minseok started as he saw Jongdae ready.

 Jongdae held up a hand and stopped him. "Coffee first. It's too fucking early for this shit."

"It's one o'clock, Jongdae." Minseok gave a knowing look and opened the door for Jongdae.

"Really?" Jongdae looked at his phone and then closed the door. It was indeed a few minutes after one. "Huh. Well, I'm not awake yet."

"I can see that. Out late last night? Did you get laid?" Minseok gave him a teasing smirk, pressing the button for the elevator.

Jongdae felt his face heating up. He had absolutely no reason to, but he felt a little guilty. And feeling guilty about making out with a girl while in a cubicle with Minseok was not good. "Kind of,” He said.

Minseok's eyes widened and then his expression was blank. "Oh. Oh. Damn, I’m sorry."

"It’s okay... There was just- There was this girl at a pub last night. I went out with some people I met. And. Yeah. We didn't even leave the place or anything."

Jongdae hadn't realized how much Minseok had tensed up until he relaxed a little. "A girl, huh?" His voice wasn't quite back to the teasing tone he was obviously striving for, but he sounded a little looser.

"Yeah. She was kind of hot. She let me know she was interested."

Minseok cut Jongdae off. "I think there’s a Starbuck across the street." He jumped up and practically ran to the exit and Jongdae only followed him like a lost puppy. When he got into the store, Minseok was already in the line, but he had his phone on his hand and was probably sending a text.

"Everything okay?" Jongdae asked.

Minseok looked up and gave him a quick smile. "Fine. Just Chanyeol. You know how he’s."

This explained nothing because Chanyeol was always sending them random things through texts.  Jongdae just said, "Okay," and let it go. Something was definitely up with Minseok. The first clue, of course, was showing up on Jongdae's doorstep unannounced and uninvited. Not that he was unwelcome. Because he was welcome. Very, very welcome. But the whole thing was just weird.

Jongdae paid for both orders and shrugged Minseok off when he said he was going to pay for his coffee and just sent him to sit on the couches near the windows. Jongdae sat across Minseok and sipped his latte and it was like an orgasm. "So what brings you here?"

Minseok smiled. "A friend of mine is living in New York, Baekhyun. He’s from Korea too. He works for Vogue."

Jongdae nodded. "Vogue, uh?" He took a sip of coffee and laughed. "You gonna meet with him?"

Minseok rolled his eyes. "Of course. Why would I bother traveling across the country and not meet him?"

"Uh, I don’t know?" Jongdae asked and smirked. “It’s just... It’s just that, coincidentally, I’m here too and you just showed up at my door with all of your shit and everything. Not complaining, though. You’re welcome, but you should get a room on your own.”

Minseok laughed. "Well, I was hoping to get a free accommodation. No one needs to know that I’m sleeping in your room."

"Oh my God! You’re so sneaky, Minseok!” Jongdae hit his arm playfully and Minseok gave him the most beautiful smile. Jongdae felt his chest tighten and shit. Minseok was so beautiful.

"We have a band, but we’re not that famous yet." Minseok took a sip of coffee and then put it on the table next to him. “I’m not rich and I like danger. Let me sleep in your room, Dae?”

Jongdae fell quiet. Beneath the easiness and laughter between friends, there was a growing tension that Jongdae didn't bother to define as anything other than sexual. But it was all supposed to be casual. That was the deal. Just some fun. A temporary friends with benefits situation.

But Minseok was right there, right in front of him. Jongdae could see him, smell him, and feel the heat of his body. It was probably because he was there that Jongdae was forced to admit that he'd maybe missed Minseok, even though he'd only left LA two days earlier. But who could blame him? Minseok was amazing.

Jongdae reached over to put his now-empty coffee cup on the trash and grabbed Minseok’s hand, forcing him to stand up. He caught the glance Minseok had been giving him, or, more accurately, had been giving his crotch, and felt himself harden a bit. "Hey, Minseok?"

 Minseok looked quickly up, his face flushing a little. "Yeah?"

"Wanna sleep in my room like, right now?"

"That is a terrible, terrible line, Jongdae,” Minseok said, but he was already dragging them back to the hotel. "Lucky for you, I'm easy."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!  
> I'l try to update faster though, tysm ^^


	5. Jongdae sends Minseok away

When Jongdae woke up at 6 o’clock, after awesome sex all along the afternoon, he was in bed alone. For a minute, he thought maybe he had dreamed that Minseok came to visit him. And then he caught a whiff of food. Burger King precisely. That was worth throwing the covers off for.

Minseok was sitting on the chair next to the window, talking on the phone. He made a face and pushed the to-go bag in his direction. "Yes, of course," he said to whoever he was talking to while Jongdae fished a burger and French fries out of the cartoon. "No! I wouldn't do, stupid. I’ll be back by the end of the week; I’m meeting Baekhyun tomorrow."

Minseok closed his eyes and let out a frustrated noise. "Can you stop that? Yeah, okay. See you, bye."

Jongdae laughed. "What's up this time?"

Minseok sighed. "Nothing. Kyungsoo just forgets he’s not my mom sometimes." He took a sip of his soda. "Anyway. What are you doing tonight? I don't want to mess up with any plans you have. I can entertain myself. Besides, we’re in the city that never sleeps."

"Today’s Friday, right?" Minseok nodded with a smile that meant he was totally laughing at Jongdae for not knowing the days of the week. "Then I have a party later. Some new LGBT club opening downtown. There’s this group I met here in the hotel and they keep sending me invitations to stuff. You're welcome to come along if you want. There'll be lots of hot girls and hot boys. And we’re not in Korea, we’re in the US and there're plenty of LGBT clubs to mess around. You know you want to go." Jongdae tried to entice Minseok, even though he knew Minseok wouldn't want to go, it was not the kind of party Minseok would be at. Not that Jongdae could blame him. Possibly because Jongdae himself was thinking about lots of other things to do with Minseok. Things that involved lube, condoms, a bed, and Minseok.

Minseok looked thoughtful for a second. "If I go, will you buy me a drink?"

"Yeah, sure. But you really don't have to go. I don't even want to go but I promised them that I’d. But I can always say no."

Minseok shrugged. "LGBT club and you don’t want to go?” He arched an eyebrow. “If I go, you might have an excuse to get out of there earlier and then we can come back to the hotel and you can get on your knees for me."

"Oh! Is that how this is going to work? You go out with me so I owe you and pay you with blowjobs?"

 "Yeah, pretty much. But I'll make it worth your while," He said with a wink. The wicked smile Minseok gave Jongdae said that he would definitely keep that promise.

 

****

 

It turned out that the group kind of loved Minseok. Possibly because they said Asian boys were cute and Minseok was the definition of a cute Asian boy. Perhaps they liked Minseok more than they liked Jongdae - which, by the way, not cool.

Minseok was cute and charming and fucking gorgeous and everyone loved him. He played with the boys and talked to them in Korean when they asked him to and they laughed at his jokes. It was like he was trying to win them over or something, which was a little ridiculous considering that Jongdae was way sexier than him. But, well, Jongdae wasn't going to pretend he understood Minseok, even after all this time.

Jongdae was leaning over the counter, waiting for the bartender to prepare another martini for him when he saw Minseok by the mirror. Minseok was laughing with a cute boy and they were touching, smiling at each other. They were almost fucking flirting. Jongdae didn’t know why it made him feel sick, but it did. Minseok caught Jongdae staring and smiled at him, one of those truly happy, bright, could-bring-about-world-peace-if-patented Kim Minseok smiles. Jongdae was sort of blindsided. He smiled back because it was the only thing he could do.

"Does he make you happy?"

"Huh?" Jongdae hadn't noticed Junmyeon approaching, and what the fuck was he doing there, in an LGBT club in New York?

“What are you doing here, Joonie? I thought you sent me here so you didn’t need to fly eight hours.” Jongdae said, trying to change the subject.

He leaned on the counter next to him. "The company asked me to. There was a problem with some documents and shit. Anyways, don’t try to pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Does he make you happy?"

"What are you talking about? You know that working with the band makes me happy." Not when I’m drunk, but wherever, Jongdae thought.

He leaned into him and bumped his shoulder. "Come on, Jongdae. I'm serious. What about the way you two were just smiling at each other," Junmyeon suggested.

Jongdae really didn't want to believe that Junmyeon was going where he seemed to be. "What? Joonie, I don't know what you think, but--"

He gave him a look. "Jongdae. I've known for years that you would be just as happy with a guy in your life as you would with a girl."

Jongdae sputtered. "But- What? I don't- That’s not the point. I’m totally okay with my sexual preferences, thanks."

Junmyeon laughed at him. "I don’t know why but ever since you broke up with that girlfriend in Seoul you became so bitter. But after you met Minseok and you two started dating, you’re different,” he said with a teasing smile.

 "We are not dating!" Jongdae was a little bit completely mortified at the suggestion and the mention of his ex-girlfriend. Junmyeon knew that talking about Eun was a no-no. He dropped his head down onto his arms on the counter. He was totally not dating Minseok.

“We’re just fuck buddies and nothing more.”

Junmyeon leaned in and messed with his hair. "Yes, Jongdae. Keep telling yourself that. Anyway, if you’re just on casual, be sure to not hurt anyone or be the one to get hurt. Don’t be stupid."

Before Jongdae could come up with a polite, appropriate way to tell Junmyeon that neither Minseok nor Jongdae himself were going to get fucking hurt, that Jongdae and Minseok were just fucking, Junmyeon said, "You know that this is what happened between me and Yixing, right?"

Jongdae felt his heart sink. Junmyeon never talked about Yixing. “You never told me exactlu what happened between you two."

“I met the band back in a beach festival in Busan when the label was looking for a fresh face for the winter campaign. They wanted me to find some quality stuff, so I had to attend several festivals and small gigs even when I didn’t even know what I was looking for. I just need to find a band worth the label until the spring was over. When I met Indigo Kid, they were called Porcelain Feelings and they played psychedelic rock. Yixing was the guitarist and he wrote and composed all songs and he kind of was the soul and heart of the band. They kind of sounded like Tame Impala at the time. I convinced them to send a demo for the label and they did like them, but it wasn’t very commercial, so we had to change the compositions a bit. Nothing much, though. They fitted into this alternative genre that is very profitable nowadays and after a few adjustments, they signed with the label. They sold over a two hundred thousand CDs in Korea and they toured with Muse in Japan, China, South Korea as well as Australia as the opening band. They became really known in Asia after opening for Muse and then the American department of our label asked them to record a few versions of their songs in English. When they uploaded it, their mini album peaked at number two on US Itunes and the label freaked out. They called me and asked them to record the whole new album in English ASAP so they could officially be in the American market.”

“And where do you and Yixing fit in this whole story?” Jongdae asked, playing with the toothpick of his glass.

“Uh, yeah,” Junmyeon gulped and then bit his lip. “When they were asked to tour with Muse, the band was really happy, so I took them to a party to celebrate and we drank a little too much… And when I woke up, I was naked with Yixing in a bed. After that, we kind of started this ‘friends with benefits’ thing and I promised myself that I wouldn’t fall in love. And then the idea of a whole album in English came up and Yixing hated it. He said that the record was trying to change them, to change their music, to change their style and he was not letting it happen. He said that it was my fault, that I was the band manager and that if I couldn’t stand for them, they wouldn’t need me. We started to fight a lot.”

“But you fell in love, right?”

“I did and there was nothing I could do about it. I fell hard and Yixing just kept hurting me, saying that it was useless to have a manager that couldn’t help the band and then one night he said he was going to quit and we didn’t really believe him, but at the morning after he had left. I called him and he said he was at the airport going back to Changsha. He just said that he had quit and hung up. Simple like that.”

“The guy is crazy,” Jongdae said sorrowfully. “I’m sorry.”

“Yixing quitting the band was the smaller of my problems. People always quit bands, we’re used to it. The biggest one was that I was still in love with that fucker but he didn’t have the decency to pick up any of my calls. I know it was supposed to be just sex, but fuck. Yixing only picked up my calls when I said it was about the annulment of his contract. After that, he sort of disappeared. I heard he has a dance studio now, I don’t know what fuck he has in his mind.”

“So out of all this, are you telling me that I shouldn’t fuck with Minseok? Because I’m not in the band and that when the recording is over, I’m gonna have to go back to Seoul and move on?”

“Yes,” Junmyeon smiled, sipping his drink. ”And no. Maybe I’m telling that you should just ask him to be your boyfriend or something like that. Just let him know that you really like him before it’s too late. Just stay away of the… Friends with benefits thing.”

Jongdae nodded, considering what he was saying. “I don't know, Joonie. I don't think I want a relationship. I'm not ready yet." No, no relationships. Since Eun, Jongdae gave up on relationships.

"That's fair," he said. "But you did bring him to New York--"

Jongdae cut him off. "Junmyeon, he just showed up the other day at my hotel room needing to get out of LA. I don’t even know what happened there to make him do it. Anyway, I didn't want to just leave him for the day. He just came along to keep me company," he protested.

He smiled softly at him. "Yeah, I know. But have you noticed that he hasn't talked to you for five minutes since you got here? And that he's trying really hard to impress you?”

Jongdae shrugged. "How does he impress me if he’s talking to lots of handsome guys and left me here alone?” He asked.

"It’s just a way to make you jealous, stupid. I’m sure he likes you back because Minseok is really himself when he’s around you. It’s really hard to make him open up like that. It took me two years to befriend with him. Maybe you should think about it and let him know what's going on inside your head."

Jongdae nodded. Then he sighed, "Am I done being the daughter you never had? I know you have this maternal gut inside of you, but I really want to drink more alcohol now and make out with some random cute guy. At least, they don't make me talk about my feelings and shit, they just shove their cocks in my mouth."

Junmyeon rolled his eyes. “You’re a lost cause."

 

****

 

Jongdae did get to drink a lot, but he couldn’t make out with anyone because he still had trouble forgetting what Junmyeon had said. At some point of the night, Minseok showed beside him asking about the drink he promised him. Jongdae had been pretty quiet halfway through it, but the elder finally called him on it. Jongdae really, really hadn't meant to ignore Minseok, but he just kept thinking about the stuff Junmyeon had been pointing out.

And then Minseok was snapping his fingers in Jongdae's face. "Jongdae."

Jongdae shook himself out of his trance. "Hm?" He looked down and realized he was holding his glass. He thought he should maybe do something with it, so he took a sip.

 "What's with you? You've been weird since Junmyeon left."

"Oh. Sorry, it's nothing. Just some stuff he said to me," he said distractedly.

Just because he was Minseok, the first question was, "Is everything okay? Is it about the label? Is something wrong with what we sent them?"

"Everything's fine," Jongdae kind of wanted to yell at Minseok a little for being considerate and asking about his problems and being all nice and shit. If Minseok had ignored it or just went on talking about himself or something, Jongdae could say, "See? He totally doesn't care about me! He's not into me at all."

To avoid thinking about it more, Jongdae changed the conversation. "I saw you got cornered by that blonde boy. What was he talking about?" Jongdae smirked.

Minseok gave him an innocent look. "We were talking about the stock market."

Jongdae laughed. "Right. Sure you were."

Minseok smiled back and said, "Okay, he said he was a fan of Indigo Kid and he knew all the songs by heart and I thought it was really cool, so I kept chatting with him. He asked to take a selca with me and then he started to hit on me but I wasn’t really interested. He just kept talking and talking and he wouldn’t let me leave until I gave him my number. I gave him a made up number, though.”

Jongdae laughed because Minseok sounded like he was feeling guilty. "I am so sorry, Minseok. We should have worked out a signal so I would have known to save you."

Minseok waved him off. "It was fine. But I could have used some help.” He smiled again. “I should have said that you were my boyfriend.”

Jongdae stiffened, trying to not show any immediate reaction, which was along the lines of  _Fuck, please don't say things like that. Please don't let Junmyeon be right again. Please don’t let me be in fucking love with you_. Instead, he just said, "Yeah, you should have." and went back to his martini.

They hailed a cab and were quiet again all the way back to Jongdae's hotel. Jongdae went straight to the bed and plopped down on the mattress. "Ugh. I’m so tired.” Minseok didn't sit, just stood between the bathroom and the front door. Jongdae looked up at him.

“We can watch some TV if you want."

Minseok was looking at the floor, arms crossed over his chest. He was silent for another minute and then he looked up and said, "Jongdae, look. If you don't want me to be here, you just need to say so."

 _Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck_. There was no way in hell Jongdae was ready for this conversation.

"Minseok, I do want you to be here..." Jongdae's words sounded hollow even to him.

Minseok gave a small, bitter smile. "But."

"I just,” Jongdae leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees, and dropped his face into his hands. "I- I don't know what to say, Minseok. I don't know," he finished quietly.

When Minseok didn't respond, Jongdae looked up. After a moment, Minseok met his eyes. "You want me to go?" he asked quietly.

Jongdae didn't know what to say. Because, no, he didn't want Minseok to go. But it was becoming, even more, apparent that Minseok wanted what Jongdae didn't.

"Jongdae?" Minseok said.

"No, Minseok. I don't want you to go."

"But...?"

Jongdae sighed. "But it might be best."

Minseok let out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. "Okay," he said before gathering his stuff. Jongdae didn't move from the bed.

 

****

 

At the morning after the club, after Minseok walked out after Jongdae pushed him out, Junmyeon called him. He answered the phone after the fourth ring because he wouldn't give up anyway.

"How's Minseok?" Junmyeon asked almost immediately. "What have you two been up to?"

"Minseok left," he said quietly.

 "Oh,” He sounded surprised. “Did you guys have a fight? Are you okay?"

"No, we didn't fight. I'm fine." Jongdae tried to sound fine. "I'm good."

"Okay," He said. "Actually, I was calling to ask you a favor."

"What?" Jongdae asked cautiously.

"Relax, it's nothing too bad. I just have this very boring lunch with the label directors and I wanted you to keep me company. It’d be refreshing having someone of my age there."

"On a Saturday? Well, it depends on," They both knew that was a lie; he was already stripping to take a shower. Jongdae was kind of having a bad day. So what if all he had left was lunch with some old directors?

"Oh?"

"Yeah. What are we having?"

He laughed. "Well, I'm not sure, but maybe Italian food."

"Italian?" Jongdae whined. He heaved an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. I'll be there. Text me the address okay? Bye." He hung up the phone and turned on the shower. God, he was pathetic. He was excited to go hang out with Junmyeon.

 Yup. Jongdae’s life definitely sucks.

 

****

 

"All right, Jongdae. Tell me what happened."

Jongdae sighed. He hadn't been expecting to get out of it, but as the day went on and he didn't ask, Jongdae thought that maybe he might. Turned out, he was just plying him with delicious Italian food and now really good espresso coffee. The directors had another meeting and left ten minutes before, so they were alone and Junmyeon could interrogate Jongdae all he wanted.

 "I don't know, Junmyeon," Jongdae said.

"When did he leave?" she asked.

 "Yesterday night, right after we came back from the club. We came back to the hotel and then he said he could leave if he was bothering me and then I said it might be best." Jongdae put his coffee down on the table.

Junmyeon was quiet for a moment, chewing his bottom lip. "Jongdae, the other day you said you're not ready for a relationship."

"Right." Jongdae agreed.

"There's obviously nothing wrong with that, but I'm curious as to why," he said.

Jongdae sighed again. Why did Junmyeon always ask hard questions? "I don't even know why," he said. "I just- I’m not boyfriend material, that’s all." Jongdae trailed off, not even sure what he wanted to say.

"You don't want to be tied down yet?" He guessed.

"No, it's not even that, really. I guess I just don't want to make such a big decision that could potentially go horribly wrong and screw up the rest of my life and the band. Not yet, anyway."

He sighed. "Is this because of Eun?"

"No!" Jongdae said, perhaps a little too quickly.

"Just because Eun cheated on you, it doesn't mean that everyone will do it. It doesn’t mean you shouldn't be in a relationship anymore. Sure, there are plenty of reasons not to get into one, but there will always be reasons not to.”

“Are we really having this conversation?” Jongdae asked, disconcerted.

“Jongdae, the way your eyes shine when you talk about him says so much. And the way he looked at you while he was at the club tells me that he is head over heels for you.” Junmyeon said, smiling and stirring his coffee with the spoon.

“Head over heels for me,” Jongdae echoed and when he understood the real meaning of the phrase, he almost choked on his own spit.

After calming down, Jongdae was quiet as he considered all of that. If he was being honest with himself, his experience with Eun and love and romance and commitment had made a huge impact, apparently a worse one than he had even realized. And if he was really being honest with himself, he'd known for a while that starting a relationship with Minseok would be a big deal. A very big deal. He could maybe admit that it wasn't that he didn't feel ready for a relationship, but that he didn't feel ready for a relationship with Minseok. It was all just overwhelming; the uncertainty, the sex, and the feelings. And, oh yeah, that little thing where they were in a band together.

"Aren't you going to mention the part about the band, and how if it all goes wrong, I could fuck that up for good?" Jongdae asked.

Junmyeon sighed. "Honestly, Jongdae? I'm not really quite sure what to say about the part."

"Helpful. Thanks."

Junmyeon laughed. "Well, yes, you could get into a relationship with Minseok and it could all go horribly wrong and everything could be awkward or you could even have to leave them. Or, there's a possibility that you don't get involved, and then there's just a bunch of unresolved tension between the two of you which could cause tension in the band and that could make you have to leave. We're back to the part where there are a million things that could go wrong. But if it went right...”

“It won’t,” Jongdae stated.

"If it went right, you could be so happy! Minseok is so nice and I’m sure he’d make a lovely boyfriend. Anyway, just keep in mind that I’m kind of a big romantic who loves a good love story with a happy ending sometimes. And I suppose I just can't help but consider the possibility that you could have everything you want. You're my friend, Jongdae. So that's what I want for you," He finished and reached over to for his shoulder, shaking Jongdae a little.

"I know," Jongdae said quietly because Junmyeon knew that it meant to Thank you for caring but he wouldn’t say it out loud.

“How about we order a tiramisu to get you happy?” Junmyeon suggested.

Jongdae couldn’t help the smile on his lips. “That would be better than any men.”

 

 


	6. Jongdae speaks his mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, first I wanted to wish Happy New Year for everyone! I hope 2016 is lots and lots better than 2015! 
> 
> So this is my first update of the year! Hope you guys like it :)
> 
> (I'd love if you guys commented what you're expecting for this fic because I kind of ran out of ideas)
> 
> Thank you 
> 
> xoxo

Minseok had only left a day ago and Jongdae felt really stupid because he was missing him so much. The problem was that it was pretty much his own fault that Minseok was even gone. Minseok would have stayed if Jongdae wasn't such an ass and kicked him out of his room.

Jongdae had texted Chanyeol asking if Minseok had made alright to LA, but Chanyeol said that he didn’t come back yet and asked if everything was okay. Jongdae ignored all his messages in favor of the thought that Minseok was still in New York, probably in that Baekhyun guy house and they could be probably fucking right now. Jongdae was very, very stupid.

The more Jongdae thought about the things he had refused to think about before, the more he realized just how much he missed Minseok. And the more he thought about that, the more he realized what an idiot he was. Just sex? Really?

 Jongdae had failed to take into account that Minseok was pretty much his favorite member of the band - even though he tried not to show it. While the sex was amazing, incredible, mind-blowing awesome, Jongdae enjoyed spending time with Minseok. He liked to spend time composing with him and watching Minseok play with the bass strings with such acknowledge and skill, creating fantastic lines in minutes. He enjoyed eating junk food with Minseok and watching him struggle to tear the ketchup sachet apart and the way that would get frustrated and would just rip it with his teeth, just like he did to rip the package of a condom. He liked the way that Minseok could still sit and watch movies with him and then out of nowhere he crawl over Jongdae, kiss him until he was out of breath and then cuddle with him until they fell asleep. Minseok liked to swoop in for stealth kisses, and sometimes it didn't even turn into sex. Sometimes it was just a quick peck on the lips and Jongdae liked that. It was comfortable and new at the same time. It was exciting and fun.

Maybe Jongdae was a little bit in love. Or, you know. A lot. Yeah. Maybe a lot in love.

Fucking hell.

 

****

 

"'Jongdae?" Junmyeon asked through the phone, completely worried.

 "I'm in love, Junmyeon," Jongdae said with a smile. "In fucking love."

Junmyeon was silent for a minute. "With Minseok?"

"Yeah." Jongdae was successful in keeping the ridiculously happy sigh from slipping out. Not so much with the big-ass romantic smile, though. He was really glad Junmyeon wasn't there to make fun of him. There was a reason he had decided to tell him over the phone.

"Jongdae."

"Yeah?" He was still sort of daydreaming about Minseok's smile.

 "I'm happy for you. I really am."

Junmyeon's tone pulled Jongdae back to the conversation. "But...?"

"It's just... If it gets fucked up, you're going to be the one who has to go. You know that, right? They won't get rid of him."

"I know," Jongdae said softly. That was the biggest reason he was unsure about trying to start something serious with Minseok. Jongdae fucking enjoyed being in the band now. Chanyeol even said that his lyrics were good and that they should put one in the album. "But I don't know if I can, you know, not."

Junmyeon sighed. "I get that," And then he seemed to be done with the warnings. "Because you're in love." Junmyeon finally sounded like she was smiling, which made Jongdae start smiling again.

"Yeah, I kind of am." Jongdae accidentally let out the most embarrassing fucking giggle that had ever left his mouth.

"Aww, Jongdae, you're in love!" Junmyeon said in a high-pitched, girly voice.

"Ok, that’s enough," Jongdae told him.

 "Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Wanna get food later? I know you’re due to LA tomorrow." Junmyeon asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, text me where."

"All right. See you later."

 

****

 

Jongdae spent all the eight hours of the horrible flight between New York and LA running through all kinds of scenarios in his head. They included, in no particular order:

  1. The one where he told Minseok he loved him and Minseok laughed in his face and said all they had been awesome but casual sex;
  2. The one where he told Minseok he loved him and Minseok sharply told him he didn't want him anymore, that he was so over him;
  3. The one where Minseok was also in love with him and they lived happily ever after;
  4. The one where they got together, there was lots of fantastic sex, and then Minseok realized what a jackass Jongdae really was and broke up with him;
  5. The one where they got together, there was lots of fantastic sex, and then Minseok realized what a jackass Jongdae really was and broke up with him. And kicked him out of the band;
  6. The one where Minseok told Jongdae he liked the sex, he really did, but he was totally straight and he'd really just been experimenting with Jongdae and all he really wanted was to find a nice girl to marry with and then have kids and live in a house with yellow fences and a dog.



By the time Jongdae's plane landed in LA, he had made up and changed his mind approximately 328 times about whether or not to tell Minseok how he felt.

 

****

 

"What are you doing here?" Jongdae asked when he got off the plane and saw that Chanyeol was the one waiting for him.

"Oh, yeah, it's nice to see you too, Jongdae! Why, yes, I'm doing just fine, thanks for asking! Of course, you missed me, for I am awesome," Chanyeol said with pointed fake enthusiasm.

 Jongdae ducked his head. "Sorry. How are you, for real?" he asked.

"I'm good," Chanyeol said with his usual big grin. He hugged Jongdae tight, obviously excited to see him.

"Good. But seriously, what are you doing here? You hate driving," Jongdae reminded him. There was definitely a reason picking people up on airports was Junmyeon’s duty. It may have to do with Junmyeon being in New York and Chanyeol's white-knuckled hands on the steering wheel and the expletives he often yelled at the taxis and buses and cars trying to pick up or drop off passengers.

Chanyeol put his arm around Jongdae and started helping Jongdae with his baggage. "Well, Junmyeon's not here obviously. Kyungsoo had some stuff to do and Minseok... Let's just say Minseok nominated me to pick you up."

"Of course," Jongdae said. "I'm not exactly surprised."

"Yeah," Chanyeol said, drawing out the word. "But we're meeting my baby for lunch. We have some things to discuss with you."

"Oh. I'm not going to like this, am I?" Jongdae asked.

“It depends. If you give the right answers to our deep and profound questions, then I think you'll be just fine."

"And if I don't?" Jongdae asked warily.

"If you don't, then Kyungsoo will be happy to explain why his nickname is Satansoo." Chanyeol happily informed him.

"Excellent."

 

****

 

Kyungsoo was already waiting for them at the coffee shop. Once Jongdae and Chanyeol bought their food and sit on the table, Kyungsoo gave Jongdae a calm smile. "Hey Jongdae," was all he said.

 "You’re acting weird,” Jongdae observed. “What’s going on?"

"Something bad, I guess."

Chanyeol jumped in with, "So, Jongdae. You know how Minseok ran away to New York because he missed your stupid face so much he couldn't function? And then he came home, like, three days later?"

"I thought he went to New York to meet with a friend?" Jongdae asked and then, "Wait, what?" as he registered the part about Minseok missing him that much.

"What did you do to break him? Because, let me tell you, he has not been fun to be around since then." Chanyeol said.

"Seriously. He's been awful. I was about to call you to find out what was wrong with him," Kyungsoo said. "He hasn’t been eating properly and I even made spaghetti kimchi for him, you know he loves it, and he didn’t even touch the food. All Minseok does now is locking himself up in his room and broke strings of his bass. And you know how thick bass strings are.”

“We don't really know what to do since he doesn’t talk to us. But we know you will talk. What the hell did you do to him?" Chanyeol asked.

"Hm. I don't know?" Jongdae tried.

“Yeah, I don't believe you," Chanyeol said. "You need to fix him, Jongdae. Seriously. He's driving us crazy and I think it might possibly be worse with you here. I don't know how we're going to keep the recording up." Chanyeol stopped sounding blithe and started sounding really worried.

"We really need to get our shit together. The label has been pressuring us to finish recording. You need to fix him." Kyungsoo pleaded.

Jongdae took a deep breath. And then another one. "Well, here's the thing. I was kind of a dumbass when Minseok came to NY," Jongdae started. The couple made noises of agreement. "But, after he left, I sort of thought about some stuff..." Jongdae trailed off.

"And?" Chanyeol prompted.

"And I'm kind of in love with him. A lot more than kind of, actually," Jongdae said in a rush. "But if you guys think I'll fuck up the band if I do something about it, just say so. Because I really don't want to fuck up what we got here. I can't," he added a little desperately. "The band is not even mine; I don’t want to fuck that up."

Kyungsoo smiled slyly. "I know that you both would do anything to keep the band together. Anything." The look that Kyungsoo gave him clearly said that would be an order if it was necessary.

Jongdae nodded his assent. "Yeah."

"Good. Now, that said, you have to fix this. There's no way we record and album like this. If you and Minseok don't figure your shit out, you gonna have to leave."

"So what do you want me to do?" Jongdae asked slowly.

"Whatever it takes," Kyungsoo said.

Jongdae had been hoping for something a little more specific, like written instructions and maybe a manual. He turned to look at Chanyeol hopefully.

"Oh, hell no," Chanyeol said. "I am not telling you what to do. You already know I give bad advice."

"True," Jongdae replied. Chanyeol had been the one to tell Jongdae that of course it would be hilarious to hide Minseok's phone in airplane mode somewhere in the house. And then accidentally forget all about them. Apparently the "But we were really drunk!" excuse just didn't cut it when Minseok had to turn the house upside down to found his phone only a day later. Oops.

Jongdae sat and thought while Chanyeol and Kyungsoo finished their food. He picked at his fork, but he just wasn't hungry.

Chanyeol had a point: there was absolutely no way they would be able to finish the album with his and Minseok's relationship the way it was. He hadn't heard from Minseok since New York, and if there was one thing Minseok did well besides playing bass, it was holding grudges. Jongdae had no idea what Minseok was thinking about him, but at that point, he figured the best he'd get would be the silent treatment; the worst, thinly-veiled hostility.

 Chanyeol interrupted his thoughts. "Dae."

 Jongdae looked up. "Yeah?"

"What do you want to happen? If it all went your way, how would it go?" Kyungsoo smiled knowing that Chanyeol asked the right questions.

Jongdae knew that one. "You'd drop me off at the home and I’d go find Minseok. I'd tell him I love him, and he'd say he loves me too, and then he'd fuck me into the mattress."

Kyungsoo made a disgusted face. "Ugh. Could you not say stuff like that? I really don't need the dirty details."

Chanyeol leaned forward, his eyes laughing. "So Jongdae, you're a bottom, huh? I kind of thought so," he said eagerly. "Oh! Or do you guys switch it up every now and then? I always thought Minseok would be a good lay. He is, isn't he?" he added.

 Jongdae blushed even as he started laughing at Chanyeol's very "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" expression. Kyungsoo punched Chanyeol's arm and said, "I hate you."

 "Babe, you fucking love me. Don't fight it. It's not worth it. I always win in the end," Chanyeol said matter-of-factly. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes but didn't deny it.

"I think I need to see him first, you know? I've got to try to see how he's feeling and stuff. He might not even talk to me at all," Jongdae said.

Chanyeol was already pulling out his phone. "Hold up," He said as he waited for Minseok to pick up. "Minseok, hey. Can you meet us at that cool place near the seafront? Yeah, the one we ate that amazing tuna sandwich last week. I don't know. Leave now." He didn't bother with saying good-bye, just hung up the phone. “Oh, he’s coming. It won’t even take ten minutes, he said he was nearby.” Chanyeol announced.

Jongdae couldn't completely hide his first reaction, which was fear. But he just swallowed and said a meekly okay. He wanted to stay there, but he wasn't sure how that would go over. "Uh, does Minseok know that I’m here?"

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol looked at each other instead of Jongdae. Chanyeol cleared his throat. "Not exactly."

Kyungsoo said, "Don't worry; we'll take care of getting your stuff out of Chanyeol’s car while you talk. It'll be fine, really."

“Yeah, just calm down. Let me buy you another soda.” Kyungsoo offered after a few minutes of utter silence. “Chanyeol, come help me.”

Before Jongdae could ask anything else along the lines of "Oh, shit, you guys are just going to completely leave me here alone with him, aren't you? I hate you”, he saw Minseok walk in.

Fortunately, he went right up to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol to order something. Jongdae took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He watched Minseok smile at a joke Chanyeol told, and knew two things instantly: he was in love and he was fucking scared. If Minseok rejected him he didn’t know what he’d do.

Jongdae may have had all those ridiculous scenes in his head on the plane ride to LA, but the thought of real rejection pretty much knocked the wind out of him entirely. He couldn't even consider the possibility without panicking.

Minseok sat down first so that he didn't have to sit next to or across from Jongdae. Chanyeol sat down facing Jongdae and handed over another soda he'd gotten for him. Jongdae took it and sipped gratefully, so he didn't have to say anything. No one else seemed too inclined to break the silence either until there was a little commotion under the table and Minseok jumped and then glared at Chanyeol while leaning down to rub his leg. Minseok still took the hint, though.

"So how was the flight?" Minseok asked Jongdae without actually looking at him.

And Jongdae had just regressed to a 14-year-old girl talking to the captain of the football team.

"Oh, fine. It was fine," he managed to say and he could live with the stuttering and stammering. It was the ridiculous goofy smile that he couldn't get rid of and the red cheeks and the ducking of his head that all humiliated him. But Minseok... He was just right there. Even if he wouldn't look at Jongdae, which was probably for the best, he was there.

Chanyeol, though, oh man, Chanyeol was trying to disguise a laughing fit with a cough. He laughed so hard that it turned into an actual coughing fit, and between Minseok patting him on the back, Kyungsoo laughing with him, and Jongdae jumping up to get a glass of water, the tension sort of just disappeared.

When Chanyeol had settled down, Kyungsoo asked about their recording studio. That was Minseok's cue to get out his planner.

"Okay, the studio is being booked for the next two of weeks, so here's when we have it." Minseok waited for Kyungsoo and for Chanyeol to pull out their phones. He looked at Jongdae pointedly.

Jongdae shrugged. "What? It's not like I'm not going to be with one of you at the time."

Minseok shrugged at that and rattled off dates and times. Kyungsoo looked up at Chanyeol and said, "You are sending that to him or do I send it myself?" He asked, pointing to Jongdae.

Chanyeol glared and said testily, "Yes, I'm sending it to him. I know he’s forgetful." If neither of them sent the dates and schedules to Jongdae, the rest of the band would spend a lot of time waiting for him to show up. It annoyed Jongdae sometimes when the rest of them acted like he couldn't be trusted. Well, sometimes he couldn't.

Suddenly, Kyungsoo’s phone rang. "Oh, hey Junmyeon. What's up?" He answered. "What? Hold on, I can't hear you. Bad reception." He got up and went outside. Jongdae noticed Minseok looking ever so slightly suspicious. Jongdae glanced at his phone and saw that he had five bars. He had a sinking feeling that he knew what was going on.

He knew for sure when Chanyeol said, "I have to, uh...Yeah. You two make nice while I'm gone." And, yeah, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were out of there.

Shit.

Minseok's back was to the front door. He sighed and looked at Jongdae. "They're not coming back, are they?"

Jongdae saw them talking for a minute before they got into Chanyeol’s car and left. "Yeah, no. They just left. They took the car."

 "Right." Minseok looked a little uncomfortable. He cleared his throat. "So..."

Jongdae was pretty uncomfortable himself. He sipped his soda. "So," He took another sip. "Since we're here, we should maybe talk?"

Minseok sighed and played with the napkin on the table in front of him. He didn't look up at Jongdae. "Probably," They were both quiet again, and then Minseok looked up and said, "You can start."

“Yeah, okay. I just," Jongdae took a deep breath. One. Two. Three. "I just feel like we should clear some stuff up, okay?" Minseok nodded. He didn't look too impressed with Jongdae.

Jongdae cleared his throat and kept his eyes on the table like the conversation would be that much easier if he told it to the fake wood. "After you left NY, I thought a lot. I thought about a lot of stuff. And the thing is, Minseok, I missed you a lot. I was miserable. Even Junmyeon noticed it." Jongdae paused and when he looked up back up, Minseok was looking at him. Their eyes met but Minseok looked away before Jongdae could try to figure out what he was thinking.

"And I talked about it with Junmyeon." Jongdae started again.

Minseok smirked and said, "Junmyeon?" Minseok was smiling a little, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Yeah, with Junmyeon,” Jongdae said again. "Do you want to hear this or not?"

 Minseok shrugged like he really didn't, but knew he didn't have a choice.

"Like I was saying, I talked to him and he may have a few good points. He kind of helped me realize some stuff. Like the fact that I can be really stupid sometimes. And basically, what it comes down to is," Jongdae paused to take a deep breath, "Is that I'm a little bit crazy about you, Minseok. Hell, I am completely in love with you."

Jongdae glanced up to gauge Minseok's reaction, but the look on Minseok's face didn't really give anything away, which was just unhelpful. Jongdae needed something to work with, even if it was amusement or disgust or annoyance. "Minseok?" he said quietly.

"What do you want me to say, Jongdae?" Minseok answered after a minute.

That frustrated Jongdae. He felt the mood changing and he suddenly preferred the awkward, weird atmosphere. "I don't know! Something! Do you want to do something about this? Do you hate me? Is this going to ruin the band? Just something. Whatever you feel. I don't know."

"Well, it's not exactly a surprise," Minseok admitted. "I mean, I didn't know for sure, but I kind of thought that you felt that way." He paused, but before Jongdae could react, he said, "I'm not really sure what you think this will change, though."

Jongdae couldn't help the look of disbelief. "Everything?" Jongdae tried. "I... Minseok, I like you. A lot. I think we should be dating, not just fucking. That whole 'friends with benefits' thing is bullshit with us. There are feelings. I hate sounding like a fifteen-year-old girl, but Minseok, I want you to fucking be my boyfriend, okay? I don't think I can put it better than that."

Minseok rolled his eyes. Jongdae took a deep breath and convinced himself that punching Minseok in the face would not help his cause. "Look. It won't happen, okay? I mean, I am obviously attracted to you and we're really good in bed. But it won't be more than that."

Jongdae closed his eyes and took a moment to figure out what the hell he could say or do to make Minseok agree with him, and then he gave up. "Minseok. What do I have to do to convince you that I like you?" he asked.

"Jongdae, that's not the issue. I believe you. I really do. And I know Junmyeon told you before, so you've known all along that I've got feelings for you, too."

Jongdae couldn't keep in the frustrated groan that interrupted Minseok. "Then what's the problem? How is this even turning into a fight?"

"Jongdae, the only thing that's changed is that you actually admitted you have feelings for me. That's it. Everything else is the same. The reasons that we didn't get together before; they’re still the same." Jongdae selfishly took a little bit of comfort that Minseok's speech made him look sad.

"But it is different, Minseok! That's what I'm trying to tell you!" Jongdae was feeling desperate.

Minseok gave him a small, sad smile as he said, "Look, those reasons you had a couple of weeks ago? Those were valid and rational. They make sense. If we're not both ready for something serious, then it's not going to work. Not to mention all the ways it could ruin the band. The Indigo Kid is all I have, Jongdae. That band is my passion and also my living. I just have food to eat and a place to live because I have that band. But now you're expecting me to just toss all those concerns out of the window? I can't! And I have no reason to think that you have already either. I get that you missed me. I missed the hell out of you. But that's not a good enough reason to ignore everything else."

"Minseok," Jongdae tried again. "I didn't just miss you, okay? It's not--"

Minseok cut him off with a look and said, "Jongdae, I’m not going to risk the band for it. I’m sorry, but work is my priority.”

 Jongdae let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He stared at his empty cup, playing with the stir.

"Fine," Jongdae finally said. “I’ll prove you’re wrong.”

 

 


	7. Jongdae does the right thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so this is the end. I wrote this week and things didn't really flow well and I kind have a lot of fanfics going on at the same time, so I decided that I wouldn't extend in this so much. Since the beggining I hadn't intented on writing a longfic, so I guess that 7 chapters is pretty fair.
> 
> I hope you guys liked it since it was my first Xiuchen :)
> 
> It's been an amazing ride, thank you all.
> 
> xoxo <3

I'm gonna take a nap, the flight wasn’t really comfortable," Jongdae said to Minseok when the elder opened the front door. It was the first thing either of them had said since leaving the coffee shop.

"Yeah, okay," Minseok said as he turned the TV on and lay on the couch.

Jongdae just nodded and then went to his room. He wanted to just lay with Minseok, he really did, but his goal wouldn't let him. Having sex with Minseok would just lead them to fall back into the same pattern they had before, and Jongdae didn't want that. From now on, sex with Minseok would be more than just friends-with-benefits.

At least, that's what he told himself as he flopped on the bed. He wasn't even really tired; he just thought that he and Minseok both needed a bit of time to think about their earlier discussion.

And Jongdae had to start plotting. He had to make Minseok his boyfriend. At least, he didn't have to convince Minseok to like him back because Minseok himself said there were feelings already. Jongdae considered his options; he could follow Minseok around looking at him adoringly with puppy eyes until Minseok was so irritated and annoyed he just agreed to get Jongdae to stop. Well, that was an option, anyway. Or could play hard to get and ignore Minseok, make Minseok chase him. He sort of already knew that would backfire, though.

Jongdae sighed as he tried to think of a few more options. His life would be so much easier if he could just be Minseok's boyfriend. Jongdae could be a good boyfriend if he wanted to. Minseok would totally love him. Jongdae always took their dates to cool and underrated places, sent good morning texts and kissed them goodbye at the door. He could be sweet and romantic if he wanted; Jongdae just would make Minseok happy and feel loved.

Jongdae shot up and jumped off the bed. That was it! He would just pretend he was Minseok's boyfriend until Minseok saw how awesome he was and made it official. Time for the real plotting to start.

    

****

 

During his plotting and planning, Jongdae accidentally fell asleep. He woke up about an hour later and went to the bathroom to take a shower. After that, he went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and Minseok was there, getting some chips. He glanced up and asked, "Want some?"

"Sure, baby," Jongdae replied with a smile. He walked up behind Minseok, wrapped his arms around his waist, and hugged Minseok tight. He rubbed his cheek against Minseok's t-shirt and sighed. He was still sleepy and it was really good to be snuggled up to Minseok like that.

"Uh. Hi?" Minseok didn't move to encourage Jongdae, but he didn't discourage him either, so Jongdae took it as a win.

 "Hi," Jongdae said. Minseok awkwardly patted Jongdae's hand and Jongdae squeezed tight again and pulled back.

Jongdae reached in front of Minseok to grab a tortilla chip while Minseok was clearly still distracted and giving Jongdae his you're freaking me out' face. Jongdae just grinned at him, grabbed two beers from the fridge, and headed for the living room. Minseok came in a couple of minutes later with the plate of chips and bowl of salsa. He pulled the coffee table closer so they could both reach the food and picked up the remote. "What do you want to watch?" Minseok asked.

 Jongdae shrugged. "Whatever." Minseok flipped around and found Transformers playing on one of the hundreds of channels they got.

They watched in silence for a while, and Jongdae may have gone for chips at the same time as Minseok and maybe purposely brushed their hands together. After the second time, Minseok looked at Jongdae with narrowed eyes. "What?" Jongdae said in his best innocent voice with his best innocent wide eyes.

 "You're being weird," Minseok said suspiciously.

 "How am I being weird?"

 "You know how," Minseok gave him a knowing look.

Honesty was the best policy, right? "The truth is, Kim Minseok, that you did not convince me at Starbucks. I still think you should be my boyfriend. And I still think that somewhere not-so-deep-down, you agree with me. So until you tell me that you really, really don't want me and can make me really, really believe you, I plan to prove to you that I am indeed an awesome boyfriend," Jongdae said definitively.

 "Uh-huh," Minseok said slowly. He looked kind of skeptical, though. Then thoughtful, and finally hopeful. "Does this mean we still get to have sex? Because boyfriends do."

"Nope," Jongdae said cheerfully. "I am a gentleman, Minseok. You should really just be glad that I'm not going to save myself for marriage, just for a relationship," he added.

Minseok blinked at him. "You suck," he said before turning back to the TV.

"You wish," Jongdae said with a smile.   

Minseok didn't shoot him down entirely. That was all Jongdae needed for the moment.

 

****

 

At Minseok's subtle urging, Jongdae decided that making out was not banned with the sex. Which was how, two days later, Jongdae was under Minseok on the living room floor, and was remembering how much he liked Minseok's mouth.

Jongdae dragged his lips over Minseok's cheek and down his neck. When he bit a little and started sucking hard, Minseok groaned. "Jongdae," he breathed out. "Jongdae, can I tell you I want a relationship now?" he asked and Jongdae could hear the smile in his voice.

That had the same effect as being doused by a bucket of ice water. Jongdae stilled and dropped his head to the floor and closed his eyes.

"What?" Minseok asked. "What's wrong?"

Jongdae pushed Minseok off of him and sat up. He looked at the floor while he said, "It's not a joke, okay?" He didn't wait for an answer, just stood up and went upstairs. He shut the bedroom door behind him and lay down. He didn't even feel like jerking off. He just covered his face and let out a frustrated groan.

Stupid Minseok.

 

****

 

Thankfully, whatever tensions and weirdness that existed between Jongdae and Minseok didn't seem to impede the writing process. The band was making some really good progress with a bunch of programs. Minseok was able to accept or ignore Jongdae's little attempts to treat him a bit more special than Kyungsoo or Chanyeol or and for the most part, they just smiled indulgently or rolled their eyes at Jongdae's over attention to Minseok. Jongdae tried to make sure he didn't do anything that could be too much, but he liked making sure he got Minseok's coffee just the way he liked it or suggested Minseok's favorite Chinese food for dinner. It was nothing he would not have done for any other person he dated.

One afternoon, they spent the whole morning arguing over a song they were recording. Minseok was kind of messing up the tones and Chanyeol kept hitting the snare at the wrong time. Kyungsoo said they should change the pitch to an octave higher to suit his voice better because the low pitch Chanyeol composed was way outside his vocal range. Chanyeol and Minseok were against it, but Jongdae also thought it would sound better. The suggestion changed the whole song, which meant they had to transpose the scales and almost rewrote the sheets completely. That took two hours because sometimes the C major scale worked for the electric guitar but bickered with the D scale and then they would have to work on the scales until it sounded good.  After that, they decided to split up for lunch to cool off a bit. Jongdae decided to stay home, and just asked if he could eat whatever Kyungsoo was preparing.

Kyungsoo was apparently some sort of Usain Bolt in the kitchen because the lunch was ready by the time Jongdae was finishing his first glass of soda. Kyungsoo sat down next to him at the table and silently split up the food.

"Thanks. For, you know, backing me up today. I mean, I thought you’d say I was wrong too..." Kyungsoo trailed off like he was trying to figure out what he should say next.

Jongdae was quiet for a minute. His first instinct was to be insulted by Kyungsoo insinuating that he would have agreed with Minseok just because he was Minseok. But after some time, he'd learned to read between some of Kyungsoo's lines.

"It would have been easier to agree with Minseok to make him fall for you, but you didn't and I never thought you'd be one of those guys who lose their balls in a relationship, but I really appreciate the confirmation anyway," Kyungsoo said in a hurry, stuffing his mouth with rice.

"I told you I don't want to fuck up the band and I meant it. Yeah, I want him to be my boyfriend, I don’t know what the hell happened to me because I hate relationships but here I’m, in love with fucking Kim Minseok. He’s mocking me. Can you believe it? Minseok’s mocking me!” Jongdae made a face.  “Anyway, I like him, but I’m not deaf. Your suggestion sounded better and that’s why I agreed with you." Jongdae finally said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I know it did," Kyungsoo said with a smile. He waved a hand and added, "Minseok and Chanyeol know it too. After we finished recording, I noticed they found the song better too. Minseok hates to be wrong, so he's just being stubborn."

Jongdae laughed. Yeah, that just about summed up Minseok. "Then why did you keep pushing him?"

Kyungsoo smirked. "Mostly, it's kind of just habit at this point. Chanyeol always did that to me, so I think it’s harmless to do that to Minseok.” He said with a laugh. "You have to admit it's fun when someone is so angry that they’re turning purple and shit because they think you are just ignoring them."

 Jongdae laughed again. "It really is," He agreed. "Just, uh, don't tell him that? I feel like it would set me back a step in my attempt to make him date me.” He laughed. .

 Kyungsoo stared at Jongdae. "Oh, that’s so sweet. You want to date him, it’s cute." Kyungsoo just laughed as Jongdae felt his face heat up.

"Shut up," he muttered.

"So cute!"

"What's cute?" Chanyeol asked as he walked in.

"Nothing," Jongdae said.

"Jongdae!" Kyungsoo said between giggles – yeah, he was totally fucking giggling. "Jongdae is so whipped. He wants Minseok to date him! Do you believe that?”

Chanyeol laughed too, but he did seem to be laughing more at the way that Kyungsoo was wiping tears from him eyes and practically falling off the chair than at Jongdae's humiliation.

"I hate you both," Jongdae said with a glare, looking up at the ceiling. "And if you could not say anything about this Minseok, I'd really appreciate it. Which means, Chanyeol, shut the fuck up now because he's--Hey, Minseok! How was your lunch? What did you have?"

Minseok ignored him. "Is he okay?" he asked, pointing at Kyungsoo, who just laughed harder.

Jongdae jumped up. "Yeah, he's fine. We were just mocking Chanyeol." He put his arm around Minseok and started walking him back to the living room. "So, Minseok, I can't remember what did we decide to do for the next rehearsal? Can you come to the studio to help me with some lyrics?

If there was one thing could distract Minseok, it was sex. But if two things could distract him, the other was composing. And Jongdae had no problem exploiting that to save his ass.

 

****

 

Friday came to an end with a 2 a.m. trip to a Mexican food restaurant near downtown. Their waiter was pretty hot actually and flirted with Chanyeol the whole night.

Or so Jongdae thought.

They had asked for separate checks and Jongdae's was the one that came back with a phone number and a little heart. He double-checked the order, and yeah, three chili tacos and a sprite were what he ate. And there was no way to mistake the wink the guy gave him when Jongdae looked up.

After paying at the register, Jongdae put the check in his pocket. It felt rude to just throw it away where the waiter could see him. He waited until they were outside to do it while Chanyeol laughed at Jongdae's obliviousness and red face. Kyungsoo laughed at Jongdae's protests that he didn’t know the guy was flirting with him just because he brought Jongdae an extra bowl of cheddar and a portion of guacamole for free and that if Chanyeol had let someone hit on him while Kyungsoo was right in front of him, he’d be dead. Minseok kept quiet, though, just had an uncomfortable small smile on his face the entire time.

"No, really, Jongdae, he was totally into you!" Kyungsoo told him as they all settled in Chanyeol’s car; Kyungsoo in the passenger seat and Jongdae and Minseok in the back.

"Well, he wasn't my type anyway. He's not--" Jongdae cut himself off before he said Minseok's name. "Anyway. Fuck off, all of you! And you drive back home." Jongdae threw the keys to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol drove them all back to their house, where they immediately split up to their rooms. When Jongdae was closing the door of his room, Minseok was passing by the corridor and said, "Actually, he was sort of your type."

"No, he wasn't," The guy had been actually, and if Jongdae hadn't been all about Minseok, he maybe would have called him right away. “And it doesn't matter anyway," Jongdae said. "It's not like I would ever call him. I’m stupidly in love with you, you ass."

 "Hm," Minseok's replied meekly, but Jongdae was watching close enough to see the small grin that Minseok obviously tried to hide.

 

****

 

Jongdae kept doing little things for Minseok. He sometimes got up early and instead of moping around like he would do, he prepared breakfast for Minseok - and that had been totally worth it for the coffee-flavoured kiss he had gotten. He bought Minseok's favorite sweet manjus at an Asian specialized shop. He even bought Minseok a new set of strings for his bass when two of them broke, for fuck's sake. He cuddled with Minseok when they were on the couch watching a movie. He made sure to pay extra-close attention so that he could give Minseok long kisses and cuddles when he was tired from rehearsal or stressed because of Junmyeon’s pressure.

 It was a Thursday night when Minseok showed up at Jongdae’s room wearing a nice pair of skinny jeans and a fancy graphic tee that seemed to cost more than a hundred dollars.  Jongdae never spent more than thirty on a single tee.

"Jongdae?"

 "Yeah?" Jongdae asked, turning around and placing his guitar on the floor gingerly. Minseok was leaning on the doorway between the room and the corridor.

"Why do you keep doing this?" Minseok asked suspiciously.

 "What do you mean?" Jongdae knew exactly what he meant.

"You know," Minseok crossed his arms. "You’re treating me differently. You’re being so nice and... You bought me a new set of strings, you wake up early to prepare me coffee and I don’t know how much you paid or did you find it, but you found the exact kind of homemade sweet manju I like."

"Hm," Jongdae pretended to think. “I’m doing all this stuff probably because I'm completely in love with you and want you to date me," He gave Minseok a bright smile. “But you said you don’t want it, so I need to prove to you that I can be an awesome boyfriend.”

Minseok, on the other hand, just sort of sputtered. "You-What? You can't bribe me to be your boyf-" Minseok took a deep breath and straightened up. "You know what? I'm going to a bar or something. Have a good night.”

Jongdae watched Minseok go with a little smile on his face. He was starting to get him, he could tell. And he really hoped it wouldn't take too much longer. Jongdae was ready. He wanted to be Minseok's and he wanted Minseok to be his.

 

****

 

Jongdae was hanging out at a crap club downtown watching Chanyeol and Kyungsoo making out like horny teenagers. Minseok had texted them to say that Junmyeon was feeling sick because he mixed beer and vodka and wanted to go home, so he was going to take him. Jongdae hung around so he could drive Chanyeol and Kyungsoo home because they were in only one car, but he stayed mostly because he didn’t want to come back home and have to breathe the same air as Minseok’s for a little bit. He was bored just from drinking beer and watching his friends almost having public sex, so he decided to wander around a bit. Clubs in the US were fantastic places meet interesting and beautiful boys. They didn’t have that much liberty back in South Korea, so he shouldn’t waste the opportunity.

He'd only gotten about three steps from where he was previously sitting when he was approached by a pretty boy he'd noticed earlier. The guy had been standing near the Jongdae, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo for a while and had been watching them with a curious look. Jongdae was fairly certain that he kind of knew they were a band, that the guy probably had seen their face somewhere, but didn't actually remember who they were.

"Hey,” The boy called, reaching for Jongdae’s arm.

He was gorgeous, and not long ago, back before Minseok, Jongdae would have already been imagining the best ways to get him out of those ridiculously tight skinny jeans. As it was, he just said politely, "Hi.”

“You guys are in a band right? I’m almost sure I had already seen your faces somewhere.”

“Yeah, they’re in Indigo Kid. I’m not. I’m just the technical help of some sort.” Jongdae answered because that was the truth. Even though Jongdae felt like part of the band, lived with them, and composed with and for them, he wasn’t in Indigo Kid. And as soon as the recording was over, he was out.

“Oh, yeah? You should be in, though. I think you’re very rock band material. You look nice in a leather jacket.” He flirted, biting his lip. "How about we chat over a drink?"

"Sorry, that's not a good idea,” Jongdae said, smiling and smoothing his hair. “I'm seeing someone. Kind of." He added.

He grinned, playing with the set of bracelets on his right arm. "Kind of doesn't really sound too serious for me, gorgeous."

"Sorry, but it’s to me." Jongdae said with a shrug. Thankfully, the boy didn’t push and took it gracefully, smiling again and wishing him good night. Jongdae wished him the same and turned around to head in the opposite direction, didn't even watching him go.

When he turned, he almost ran right into Minseok, which was confusing because he should have left. "Oh! Hey, Minseok. Wait, I thought you were going to take Junmyeon home--"

Minseok just looked at Jongdae for a few more seconds before saying distractedly, "No, he decided he wanted to hang out a little more instead. I was coming to see if you and the lovey-dovey couple wanted to join us." He looked at Jongdae like he was inspecting him.

“What?" Jongdae asked. Minseok was hard to read sometimes.

"Jongdae." Minseok cleared his throat. "Jongdae, I think we should go home."

That didn't help clear up anything in Jongdae's head. "Why? You just asked if we wanted to hang out a little more."

"Forget what I said," Minseok smiled at Jongdae, amused, as he grabbed Jongdae's arm and pulled him out to the exit door. They paid their checks in a hurry and by the time Minseok shoved Jongdae to the passenger seat of the car, Jongdae stopped caring. Minseok cupped his face in his hands and leaned in to kiss him, biting at his lower lip just like the way Jongdae liked. Jongdae moaned a little, parting his lips, giving Minseok free access to play with his tongue and Minseok just kept going until he pulled Jongdae to his lap and Jongdae felt Minseok's hard cock through the rough fabric of his jeans.

Minseok pulled back a little and breathed, "Jongdae. We should really go home."

Minseok was still nipping at Jongdae's lips, which made it a little tougher to say, "No, Minseok--" And that was as far as Jongdae got before groaning because Minseok ran his hand down Jongdae's stomach and rubbed Jongdae's dick through his jeans. Jongdae was panting against Minseok's mouth.

But this time, Minseok pulled back far enough to look Jongdae in the eyes. "Yes. Okay? Say yes to me, Jongdae. Please."

"Why are you doing this?" Jongdae asked.

“Because I need you, Jongdae,” Minseok whispered, his hot breath hitting Jongdae’s ear. “I miss you, baby. I miss touching your skin, I miss seeing you blushing and hearing you moan my name when I fuck you. I miss your tight heat around my cock. Fuck, I miss all of you."

All the unexpected dirty talk and the pet name made Jongdae shiver and his brain kind of short-circuited, so it wasn’t really his fault when he let Minseok drive them home in a hurry, sailing through all the possible red traffic lights along the way. Meanwhile, Jongdae texted Kyungsoo saying that he went home and that he and Chanyeol should, at least, check if Junmyeon was okay. Oh, and, of course, he asked them to take a very long time to come home.

Unlocking the door was a little more difficult than the usual for Minseok because he kept kissing Jongdae at the same time. Jongdae couldn't stop kissing him and Minseok couldn't stop touching while he tried to get the door open. It took a couple of tries, but he got it eventually.

Minseok was taking Jongdae's shirt off before the door was even slammed shut behind them. Jongdae went right for Minseok's belt and leaned in to kiss Minseok’s lips after letting him pull off his own shirt. And then somehow they made it without clothes to Jongdae’s bed.

Jongdae was straddled over Minseok, leaning down to kiss him as he ground his hips down causing them both to moan as their cocks moved against each other. "Wanna fuck you," Minseok said against Jongdae's mouth.

Jongdae's hips jerked down again at the thought. "Fuck yes." They shifted until Minseok was on top of Jongdae.

"Lube and condoms?" Minseok asked.

Jongdae closed his eyes. “Top drawer. Hurry up.”

Jongdae was distracted by the rustling sounds when he felt Minseok lean down and take his cock in his mouth. Jongdae moaned shamelessly and gripped at Minseok’s hair. Jongdae heard the squelching sound of the lube and then Minseok was circling his rim with wet and slick fingers and once Minseok slid one inside, Jongdae thought he’d die. Minseok kept his finger moving in and out while his other hand was holding Jongdae's hip nice and tight against the mattress. Jongdae couldn’t help but thrust probably too hard into Minseok's throat and then the elder hollowed his cheeks, sucking hard, and Jongdae let out a loud sound that resembled more like a cry than a name.

Minseok swallowed around him and then added a second finger, pumping it until Jongdae was loose enough so he could scissor him slowly. Jongdae hissed under his breath and Minseok eased his fingers in and out slower.

“This okay?” Minseok whispered, leaning over Jongdae and kissing his lips lightly.

“Yes, just- It’s been some time.”

Minseok laughed a little and tugged at his chin. “A week is not sometimes.”

“It’s been more like a month.” Jongdae half-laughed half-moaned because Minseok slid in a third finger without warning.

Minseok stilled, furrowing his eyebrows and looked at Jongdae. “A month? Our last time was a month ago... You haven’t had sex after that?”

Jongdae shut his eyes and rolled his hips to take more of Minseok’s fingers inside of him. “No. I just want you, stupid.”

“Aah, Jongdae...” Minseok groaned and reached for a condom. Jongdae watched him slip it on his cock and squeeze more lube. He couldn’t hold back a moan because fuck, he missed Minseok’s dick so much.

Jongdae felt Minseok poking his cock at his hole and he started to push in slowly and Jongdae kind of felt lethargic because the sensation was like going to heaven. When Minseok pressed his cock all the way in, Jongdae moaned and yes, that’s exactly what he wanted, what he needed. He felt a shiver rushing down his body each time Minseok thrust inside him and that felt incredible, amazing.

Each move of Minseok’s hips drove Jongdae insane; making him whimper a little bit louder, arch his back higher, grip at Minseok’s arms tighter. When Jongdae opened his eyes and saw Minseok biting his lip into his mouth, he almost came from the sight. Fuck, he had missed Minseok. He had missed the way Minseok gripped his hips hard and left little bruises that got Jongdae hot at the next morning when he saw them. He missed the way Minseok yanked at his hair when he fastened the pace, the way Minseok parted his lips when he was about to come.

Minseok always got louder when he got close. He said Jongdae's name and variations of a string of curses interspersed with moans and gasps. Jongdae loved to listen to them. He loved it when he could make Minseok lose control like that, loved that it was his name Minseok was saying in that rough, breathless and sexy voice.

Minseok started to go faster and Jongdae was also dangerously close, the usual heat coiling in his lower belly. He pushed Minseok off of him and straddled him, guiding his cock into his loosened hole and sitting on it slowly. Minseok let out a ragged breath and squeeze Jongdae’s sides, pulling him closer until their chests were pressed up.

“You feel so amazing, Jongdae,” Minseok started to say but when Jongdae lifted his hips up and slammed them down, the elder kind of lost his train of thought. “Fuck, fuck. Keep doing that, shit.”

Jongdae whimpered softly and he felt his body getting hotter just from the look of Minseok’s face. “Minseok...” He moaned and then started to really ride him, dropping his hips down as Minseok thrust them up a little to meet him halfway.

“Come here, baby,” Minseok put both arms around Jongdae and moved to press his lips against Jongdae’s. Jongdae parted his lips and Minseok wasted no time and just snaked his tongue inside of his mouth, running it along the roof of his mouth.

When Minseok let go and lay his head back on the pillow, exposing his throat, Jongdae could only think how utterly sexy he looks. Knowing that he was the one responsible for Minseok looking like that got him hotter, having him riding Minseok faster and harder until he was groaning and coming untouched with that thought on his mind.

“Fuck, Jongdae. I’m so close, keep riding me like that,” Minseok pleaded; yanking at his hair and making Jongdae arch his back. Jongdae drops his hips two, three, four times and then he hears Minseok moaning next to his ear, feels Minseok’s cock throbbing inside him and spilling inside the condom.

Jongdae rolled on his back as Minseok dealt with the condom and pushed the blanket up because even if he’s overheated, the cold air was really bothering him. Jongdae’s feeling stupid because he couldn’t resist Minseok even if he was the one who said they shouldn’t have sex if they weren’t dating. Jongdae let them fall into the same pattern and he’s half expecting Minseok to just gather his clothes and leave at the next second like he always does, but then Minseok crawled into the bed and back hugged Jongdae, his warmth a sweet comfort against Jongdae’s slightly chilled skin.

“You were right,” Minseok suddenly mouthed at his neck. “I give up, we should really be boyfriends. Let me take you to some fancy restaurant tomorrow? You can choose.”

Jongdae smiled and nodded, accommodating himself into Minseok’s arms and drifting to sleep almost immediately, sated and happy.

 

****

 

A quick glance at his phone tossed on the floor told Jongdae that it was 4:47 am, which was just ridiculous. He rolled on the bed and then Minseok's eyes were open and he was smiling at Jongdae. "Hi," he whispered.

Jongdae smiled back. "Hi. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay."

Minseok leaned in and gave Jongdae a little kiss. Jongdae shifted closer and took Minseok's hand under the covers, lacing their fingers together. They lay there, facing each other, bodies close, and smiling like idiots. They were quiet for a moment and when Jongdae realized that neither of them was going to fall back asleep right away, he sort of just blurted out.

"Why?" He really hadn't meant to ask right then, thinking the talk could, at least, wait until morning. But he needed to know. Mostly he needed to know because whatever it was he had done, he needed to do it all the time. He wasn't about to lose Minseok when he'd finally gotten him.

Minseok took a deep breath. "Because of that guy."

"What guy?" Jongdae didn't remember a guy.

Minseok rolled his eyes. "The one in the club? Asked you to get a drink?"

“Oh! Right. Him. He was cute."

"Yeah, he was," Minseok said quietly. "And you turned him down. You thought I wasn't even there and you turned him down."

Jongdae was confused. "Well, yeah, obviously. I mean, he had nothing on you. I told you Minseok, I like you a lot. I want you. I want us to be together, be dating, be boyfriends, be going steady, whatever the fuck you want to call it. You can pick, I don't care. Whatever you want." Jongdae wished he could come up with a better way of saying it, but he couldn't. His brain still wasn't quite right from the mind-blowing sex.

Minseok looked down at their clasped hands between them, avoiding eye contact. "Remember when I got to New York? You told me you met a girl the night before."

Oh. Yeah, Jongdae remembered that. He remembered the girl's face but no her name, but he definitely remembered that really brief look of disappointment and hurt on Minseok's face when he found out. "Minseok, I was trying so hard to not fall for you. It was, like, a way for me to prove to myself that it was just sex with us. It was stupid. I'm sorry.”

Minseok put his hand up to Jongdae's face, brushed his thumb over Jongdae's lip. "Yeah, it's okay. I mean, when I left the hotel I stayed at my friend’s place. I wasn’t lying when I said I was going to meet with him, but I went to New York mostly because I was missing you. Baekhyun took me to a party, to a Vogue’s party and I kind of hooked up with a guy there. He was a model, really good-looking and shit, but I guess that it didn’t matter. It was awful."

“Yeah?” Jongdae asked, feeling a sting of jealousy. 

“Yes,” Minseok whispered, clutching at Jongdae’s fingers. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You really fucked me up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. And it’s not like I didn’t like you all along. I liked you right from the start.”

Now was Jongdae’s turn to agree. "We fucked that up from the start, didn’t we?"

Minseok laughed. "Yeah, we did." He tilted Jongdae's face up a little and leaned forward for a soft, lingering kiss.

And then Jongdae remembered something else. "Hey! What about that guy? The waiter from that Mexican restaurant or whatever? I turned him down and that was ages ago. How come we didn't have really awesome sex then?"

"You knew that if you wanted me, all you had to do was walk down to my bedroom," Minseok said with a shrug. "I just figured you didn't want it. But then, like I said, you thought I was gone, not even in the club anymore. Chanyeol and Kyungsoo weren't paying any attention whatsoever, Junmyeon was supposed to be gone too, so how would I have ever known? But I overheard your conversation and finally realized that maybe... Maybe I just have to follow my heart," Minseok laughed at how girly he sounded. "Besides, I really needed to kiss you.” He said, almost as an afterthought.

"For the record, all I really wanted was the sex. Everything else was foreplay."

Minseok laughed. "Right. Well, at least if you start messing around with girls, I'll know. You can't lie."

Jongdae grinned. "This is true," His smile softened as he said, "I really like you, Minseok."

"I know," Minseok said quietly. "I like you too. I was just scared. I know that the band is work and you are personal life and you would never mess that up if something happened. Besides, we already have a couple in the band, right? Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are professional enough to let their relationship interfere on the band. Sometimes they don’t, but it’s nothing serious. They would do the possible and the impossible to keep the band together."

"I know that,” Jongdae said, narrowing his eyes and smiling softly. “But that’s something you don’t need to worry because I’m not even in the band!" Jongdae laughed. "We’re just finishing the album I may have to go back to Seoul after that. I hope you can do long distance relationships. I’m sure you’d be awesome at phone sex.”

That made the smile on Minseok’s die and he reached to cup Jongdae’s face. "No, no, no. We need you here in the band; I need you here with me. We haven’t found anyone to be the guitarist and you’re perfect for the spot, Jongdae. Stay, please." He tried.

"Hey, it’s okay," Jongdae whispered, leaning into the touch. “You know that all it takes is Chanyeol and Kyungsoo to say this is okay and I’m in. Of course, Junmyeon would have to talk with the label and everything, prepare documents and all that bullshit, but I think it’s alright.”

"I need you to stay, Jongdae,” Minseok whispered, running his fingers down Jongdae’s cheek and neck, caressing lightly the skin. His eyes were soft and tender and Jongdae thought that Minseok never looked prettier. “Because I think I love you.”

And with that, Jongdae melted, letting the words roll off his tongue easily, “I think I love you too, Minseok.”

Jongdae never felt so good.

 

****


End file.
